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#15437 - 12/15/05 12:57 AM
Re: How to be compassionate
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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And Ladybug,
Subjects that get us all thinking is a good thing= many of us are just going thru' life on auto-pilot , which isn't life at all....We just need to be courageous, risk being called silly or stupid, crazy or nonsensical. Great things have come from just such "ridiculous thinking"....It's the thinking that counts......
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#15438 - 12/15/05 02:49 AM
Re: How to be compassionate
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Member
Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
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Searcher, I agree. I have noticed that Vi starts some very interesting topics that really get us thinking and talking. Keep doing that Vi.
While it's nice to read about Barbies (one of my own "fluff" topics and similar items) it's even more important to discuss real issues.
Thanks for doing that and providing an atmosphere for "continuing education."
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#15440 - 12/15/05 04:22 AM
Re: How to be compassionate
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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They can DO that?
How's that work? That's just not right....not right at all..............
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#15441 - 12/15/05 04:47 AM
Re: How to be compassionate
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Member
Registered: 05/21/05
Posts: 252
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When I was writing my book I was careful to not place ly adverbs all over the place. My college writing instructor told me it was poor writing. He said that it is best to write a book in a way that gets the feelings across without using them much. I edited and rewrote for my two agents, one was Eleanor Freide. She's the brilliant woman who discovered Richard Bach of Jonathon Livingston Seagul fame. After I rewrote for Eleanor, I rewrote for the agent working with her, Barbara Bowen. They helped me cut out the junk and focus the story better. Eleanor is a legend in the publishing world. Eleanor told me the book was good as it was, so the publisher wouldn't require it to be rewritten. Wrong. There were somethings she insisted on. I had to interview one of the families of the people who died. I should have stood my ground and refused. It opened their pain all over again. And the problem was they didn't remember enough about what happened in the first five years after the murders. So I had to extrapolate. I shouldn't have done that. I let it slip about something else that had happened later, a visit to the parole board by my family and I, a couple of years after my brother was sentenced. The publisher insisted that I put that in, even though to reveal what I did put me and my family in danger. I shouldn't have caved to her. But once she knew about it, had I not written that part, she would have written it in in her own words, when I'd only told them a couple sentences about what happened. What uspet me the most was at the end of the book, I had written a little on each of the people on the other side of the murders, what they were doing now and how wonderful the one family was. The publisher watered it down so it was not the tribute to the beauty of their souls that I wanted. She insisted I use a real name. I had changed every one else's for their protection. She said she had to have real person. My last name is hyphenated. She didn't care that I used my husband's part of the name. But to me that's not my real name, my real name is hyphenated. And I was afraid someone would be able to find my mother that way. When I asked Mom is she minded if I write the story, she said, "It's okay if you think if will help somebody. Just don't let them find me."
Then when it came to touring I did two talk shows. When I refused to allow Dateline NBC to interview my mom, the publisher dropped the promotion. Publishers can be very cold. They knew ahead of time what I was and was not willing to do.
Oh, and the publisher reworded a lot of stuff. It annoyed me big time. I wrote this book from 1981 to 1993 when it was published. I didn't need her to "add her magic" and alter the soul of the book.
She made more changes after I got the galley, but I never read it again. I was so annoyed.
I've been told by my family members, the few who read it, that I did a good job. It was better after I rewrote it for Barbara and Eleanor and worse after the publisher was through with it. I have the rights back now, finally as of this year. I've considered finding a publisher and putting it out in paperback. But at this point I've decided against it...could change my mind in the future. I kept the wound open for 12 years to write, I'd rather not open it again.
Thanks for your support, Dianne, Ladybug and Searcher.
And Dianne, thanks for asking about the book. [ December 14, 2005, 08:54 PM: Message edited by: Vi ]
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#15444 - 12/15/05 06:20 AM
Re: How to be compassionate
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Member
Registered: 05/21/05
Posts: 252
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Dianne, of course to be fair, just writing the book put me at risk; my brother threatened me. I was willing to take that chance because of the potential good it could do. But the book did not put my parents at risk until the publisher insisted on that section or the publishing deal was off - or at least that's what she implied. I had to weigh the potiential good against the potential risk. The publisher's husband is an attorney. We couldn't afford an attorney. It can become a mess.
But it's over now. And I learned a lot from this experience. So like you say, "If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice." I gained a lot of strength from this experience, so I thank the publisher for that.
Smile, it's a bummer the way they treated you. The business is a hard one. For me, writing is one of the things I was born to do, so I will continue to publish, but like I said, I learned some things. I didn't think I went into the experience uninformed. I went to lots of conferences and took lots of classes, but sometimes things can be difficult anyway.
Vi
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#15445 - 12/15/05 07:45 AM
Re: How to be compassionate
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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Ohhhhh,
I am sad now. Or still. I just cannot stand this that you women have such a difficult time publishing your books. And angry too. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling - having taken the courageous step to tell your story, and then to experience fear for your lives, only to have your story altered by someone who has not lived it!!!! What has our world become? Is it really worth the trouble to write? I am already tired. Can I , or you, continue to prevail under such circumsstances? Some people have posted that stress is cumulative. This I know is true. Not only from experience, but also from my classes - in fact, stress is what eventually kills people, it's not old age.....Well, I must REALLY be tired today, because, I'm ready to give up the idea of writing. Can't even begin to think of hassles which might be brewing............And normally, I love a good fight. What shall we do? Oh, I think I'll give up on this subject for now, must not be a good timne to think about it - maybe later............
Exhausted, Jawanna
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