I was seeking advice on the long term lasting mood, you know, for the whole day or more. That sort of moodiness is what puzzled me. I was puzzled as to what was going on in that person and why they won't express. Eagle Heart covered it for me when she told me about how people that get lost in their moods feel. Now that I understand, I can not worry and tolerate it.
Dancer9

I wonder if it is possible that when people don't tell others what is causing the mood or going on with them it could be that they just don't know what's going on. With my moods I could never related them to something going on in my world. Things could be wonderful and I'd feel down, they could be horrible and I'm coping and doing well. Perhaps people keep it to themselves because they don't have a clue what "it" is?

Greene, I can relate to that - "cloud of unknowing" might fit well. As a matter of fact, I find in my own experience that if I can put my finger on the root cause of a dark mood (it's very rarely the most recent or obvious reason), I'm half way out of the mood already. But it's not always simple to pinpoint the "why".

One thing I've learned to do is to reassure my hubby that my darker moods, while perhaps triggered by something he's said or done, very rarely actually have anything to do with him. If I'm brutally honest, I can usually trace the tendrils of that mood a long way down to a wounding that happened a long time ago.

I want to add that, IMO, not all moods are necessarily rooted in a wound. When I talk about being able to trace a mood back to my past, I'm referring to those really dark moods that you can't shake off and eventually start to feel like inescapable quicksand. I still think that some people are wired that way - ultra sensitive to everything around them - and that our moods (we could call it "introverting ourselves") may be our way of processing and internalizing it all.

I find it so, too, greene and EH. On top of it all, it makes me feel as if I have no right to be down because there is no evident cause. And, I've had many occasions when I realize I'm under a 'cloud' and I'm affecting the one, or ones, I'm with... this makes me feel guilty, because there's no defined 'something' I can bring myself out of - alone and/or through willing. And, the guilt compounds the issue. Best to stay alone and away when this is the case. Reclusive.
I've been with people who have interrogated me, loved me hard, coddled me, acted cheery to the opposite extreme, etc., trying to 'bring me around,' so to speak. More times than not, it compounded the issue, too. There is one person who I can go to (but they live out of state) who sits and listens, earnestly and caringly listens, does not pressure for more, and affirms my feelings. Here again, there is a problem. I hate being a burden, possibly affecting/altering the listener's place of feeling.

A question popped into my head today.
Is there a direct correlation between 'cheerful' people and 'mood sensitive' people and where their 'psyche' lives. By this I mean, are the psychic landscapes of the 'cheerful' people outside their heads, while the psychic landscapes of the 'mood sensitive' people are inside their heads. Is that a bunch of garble, or what?
Question to the members who consider themselves 'cheerful':
Do you find yourself more involved with the external things of living vs. the thought processes involved with living?
Maybe that's not the best way to put the question. Help, anyone?

I just read through all of this thread and it's so very interesting. Seems like most of the moods that have been discussed are negative moods. What about the positive ones? To me, a moody person is one who bounces around. Does that make sense - good moods to bad mood to sulky, to happy, etc.

gims, I like your question and I get what you're saying. It's quite possible that you're on to something. I think some of the modd issues have to do with living in the moment. Would anyone agree?

Something that hasn't been mentioned (and I can't believe it) is peri-menopause and menopause as mood alterers. This is definitely true in my case. In fact, I'm on the pill for peri-menopausal symptoms, one of which was moodiness, and it's worked wonders. However, this past month, I'm using the generic drug for my pill and I'm wondering if I'm more moody because it's not the same as the real drug. I think it's possilbe. It could also have to do with the kids moving out and away. Who knows? BUt if anyone's keeping track of who's moody and who isn't count me in as a moody one. And let me tell you - my emotions are out there. I can be read like a book. I address my moods immedaitely and try to manage them accordingly - for what all of this is worth...

dancer, this has turned into a great topic. I know what you meant by your original post. Sometimes you can be with someone you love and they just aren't themselves, but won't share why. I chalk it up to being a part of life. Not everyone can express themselves as well as others, and/or aren't able to share their why, regardless of how close they may be to us. I find it hard to understand becasue I'm so out with my thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. But, we are all so very different, and like Mom always said, "That's what makes the world go 'round."

Gims, I think that's a great observation/question. I think you're on to something. People who are predominantly cheerful do seem to be more able to "think outside their own heads", i.e., seem to be able to find their energy/motivation/joy outside of themselves. Predominantly moody people (whether positive and/or negative) do seem to need to introvert themselves in order to process whatever's going on around them. We all interpret life differently, and some seem to primarily macro-manage their emotions/life events, while others tend to micro-manage everything - I know my tendancy is to overanalyze EVERYTHING, right down to the choice of words and body language that someone has used and the ripple effect - or even the eschatological implications - of choices and actions. All of that goes on in my head constantly, though I'm trying now to pick and choose when to allow my mind to go through all the ramifications of any given event/choice/action. Hard, because it's so automatic, I can't always catch it in time.

Sometimes when someone perceives me to be moody, in my own mind I'm actually problem-solving. Some do it through painting or writing or in the board room, others seem to have to go and sit inside of their heads (and hearts) first.

Moods or whatever one calls them are a fact of life, a state of mind and no matter who you are or what you do, happy, or sad, moods are here to stay. I read a very interesting study done at Berkeley years ago about moods and they found it is due to chemical changs in the body and mind. Yes, our surrounding atmosphere can have a part in our mood as well, deaths, life, illness, love, all react on our subconscious and conscious minds so we become MOODY. This with our ever changing mind and body chemistrys makes us appear MOODY. Deal with it ladies, moodiness is here to stay!!!

wow, what to say? Eagle Heart, you have been a Godsend in helping me know what is going on. The moods do not last more than half a day and I know now to let them be and wait until this person is ready to talk about them. You have helped me not to smother and perhaps confuse the situation.
I am dealing with nothing like depression, I know how to handle that.
Gims, you make good points too! I can follow your example of how you would like to be treated when you are feeling that way and just listen when he's ready to talk.
It's not my husband that is like this, thank goodness, or my marriage might have suffered from me not understanding. He and I are the types to "think out loud," and discuss with others what is going on. Luckily, we do not have moods often where we have no idea where it is coming from.
Eagle Heart, you hit the nail on the head with the over anaylize in this person. He does that. He is overly intelligent and yes, thinks and thinks and thinks things through. He is also a worrier, is that common with long moods, (hours long.) I am a person who easily flows with what is and I do not worry as a rule. Of course I worry if someone is ill or such, but I am not a worrier by nature.
Where does worry fit in, Eagle Heart?
Gims?
I've more to say but must wait as my son needs my laptop. I'll return and write more soon.
Dancer

Dancer, as far as worry goes, I can only speak for myself, but suspect that anxiety is a common factor in moody people's moodiness.

Yes I worry obsessively. Anxiety over EVERYTHING gnaws at me relentlessly. However, I've come a long way in the past couple of years. I'm learning how to live in the "now" and stop obsessing over what might happen. Much of my anxiety over the past 2-3 years stemmed from the loss of my entire family and how that has pulled every rug out from under my feet...I'm still fumbling to find my "nichedness" in this new reality.

But for me, the greatest source of anxiety comes from my mind flipping through all of the possible consequences, impact and future implications of any given choice or action, both on a personal level and on a much wider global level. I guess you could say that I surf all of the possible ripple effects...the list of triggers is endless. Everything from the global impact and ripple effect of overusing air conditioners to how many in the world could survive on what we throw away and the why of that great disparity between the very wealthy and the destitute poor. Why do I have so much and my neighbours down the street and across the ocean have so little?

I don't know how to turn it off. Prayer and meditation help, but even there, I'm keenly aware of all of the people, known and unknown, who need help and so I bring those people and the various situations in the world into my prayer as well. I'm especially passionate about being a voice for the voiceless, praying to God to help those who don't know how or who to ask for help, or who have lost their voice because of hopelessness and despair. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. In case it's making a difference...the anxiety comes in part from frustration that it's never enough...but I'm learning that if it's all one can do at the time, it has to be enough.

Have I veered off topic? See how much more can be going on behind a person's moodiness? If you were to look at me, you would not see much to look at. I'm plain, quite invisible in fact...and probably often appear to be completely lost in space. But there is a wealth of processing and learning and evolving going on behind those eyes.