*sorry about the length, please bear with it? Dear Princess, this is your thread. YOU deserve to rant and complain about the pain you endured. I respect that completely as I have said before. Compared to you, I am ignorant regarding battling Cancer, although I do have a disease. I have some things I wanted to say to you which I will put at the end of this post. I'm hoping it soes not go on forever!

But, to mention celebrities, I can tell you from my point of view, which is someone who is known in major cities by those who produce, etc, is that those who are "stars," cannot breath without watching for the press.

Melissa Ethridge got brest cancer. She didn't want it but the press broke it. She decided, with her agents help, to spin it into an honest battle. She battled the cancer and did gigs with her head bald. Many of her friends shaved their heads with her in support. She had no choice, it was blown open on her and she had to open her life to the public more than she wanted to.
Now, she must prove she is cancer free to accept a contract and will have to forever. To insure her for a contract means a physical and a BIG one for a caner survivor.

A celebrity has a hell of a life. For example, I spent some time with Prince. He cannot leave a building without complete secutity, and they have to be secuity that cannot be bought off. We were in his club, the Glam Slam, and I could walk a few blocks to have Aveda do my hair for the show but he could not leave the building to accompany me and keep talking with me. It has to be arranged for him to go ANYWHERE. He is not free. He is not even close to free, he is in a trap that he cannot escape because he worked for fame. He chose fame but did not know what it would do to him. Prince pretty much grew up in a bordello and everyone knows this because of his fame.

A woman is worse, I think. If she is pregnant, it is so bad that now they try to leave the country, or at best, go to a hideaway home throughout their pregnancy. They must make intricate plans to deliver, and in the case of Angelina, they have to pay off the government of a country to keep them protected!

Crosby of Crosby,Stills, Nash and Young, got liver cancer, and it went into the press that he ahd "liver disease," to avoid the "C word." He waited for a kidney with the fans of their work waiting with him in vigils. Nurses gave away info regarding his health and he did not have a "machine," because he could not afford it, to protect him from press.

Recently, a great person, Warren Zevon, died of lung cancer. It also went public so he went public with his death by stages. He actually recorded an album with all his friends that took right up until his death to finish. Bruce Springsteen flew to Warrens home on Thanksgiving to record their song together. Warren died in the public eye. He is an example of a man who although had some fame, died as all people do, with not special treatment.

But Britney is the very best example, Princess. She is a VERY talented dancer and performer. She also has a mental illness that is now public knowledge. When she had a child, her illness, (and YOU know about mental illnesses as I do,) broke. Her father had to take control of her life. We almost watched her die, if you were following, as the press hounded her and hounded her until she looked so very bad that people though she would NEVER recover.

Princess, a celebrity has no friends. Family is a liability, friends you make are as well. ANYTHING you so could be caught on a telephoto lens, even, in Jackie O's case, by swimmers with telephoto lens! If you are ill, and throwing up all of the time, the industry will write you off, period. You are only as good as your last gig.

People love to see a celebrity fall almost as much as they love to see them rise. I'm sure you've seen the public turn against a known person in grooves?

These are the public's questions:

Do you, did you, smoke? Do you, did you eat right? What is the personal life of the person? What is their work like? Do I like it? Do I want them to die of this cancer? Do they deserve to die of this cancer? YES! The public actually judges whether they think the entertainer DESERVES the cancer!! Everyone with an agent is explained this at the start. You are warned that if you are down they will kick you. If you are up, they will kick you.

You speak in the public. Beware of fame as you go on with your speaking. You might be aware of some of these feelings in your public already. EVERY audience, if you have watched, has a "hater," in it, trying to put you down or find you wrong. Have you experienced this yet? Have you developed a shell to protect you when you speak to groups so that they cannot get to places where it hurts or where you do not wish to share?

All of this is worth considering. I don't know if you plan on making public speaking a common practise but if you do, I'd advise an agent.

This is long winded, it's just some of my experiences and you asked about down sides of celebrities so I tried to tell you some if that celebrity is sick.

Lastly, I would not envy a celebrity. What they do, wear, eat, say, ANYTHING, is recorded and most of the time wrongly.

And, I wish you the very best as you speak or are interviewed by the press. I hope for you no "haters," and no jealously from the crowds. Most of all, take great care to protect yourself from anyone who would alter your image or your words in any way.

As a public person, you have the right to you "likeness," and your words. If you are misquoted or appear anywhere in photos that you did not release, (even a newspaper has to get, and have gotten, my release,) you have recourse. I would suggest you meet with an entertainment attorney.

No matter if we stop performing, for example, as I have, our likeness is still valuable, and still valid. ( A calendar is being made from some dance shots I did awhile ago.)

I say this in friendship. I know you seek to do good. I think that is a great thing.
I'm happy to help in any way in the areas above.

Carry on. I hope this helps.

Lynn, I hopeyou're still working on that booka bout breast cnacer because the words you wrote here need to be written for all to see. There was such passion behind them that it sucked me right in. I encourage you to finish that book.

I'm so sorry for all who have suffered from cancer or witnessed a loved one do the same. I can't wait until the day when we can talk about how barbaric chemo and radiation WERE, as in past tense, as in it's no longer done because of a cure!

I am blown away (in a good way) by these responses. I can count on my boomer friends for truth... from the heart. Dotsie, I am working on my book, and maybe that's why I got mad, five years after. It is difficult to revisit that disease, but, like the first book, I know I must. It's not that I envy celebrities. It's that I am mad that they are chosen to bring awareness as if they are the only ones, while we have people suffering and overcoming right next door. I get claustrophobic in crowds, so I'd be uncomfortable with an entourage. I'm not sure what my emotion is concerning celebrities having nurses and nannies and accountants and personal attendants. Is it envy? Is it resentment? Is it that I want what they have? Do I perceive them as not having to worry? It's that I would like to make a difference that I think it takes celebrity to make. But then I get emails from people I know, as above here, and people I don't even know, so I let myself tell myself that maybe I have made a difference in the last five years, and I don't have to be on TV to do so. Yes, that's it. As for having friends, I'd be insecure. My grandfather died leaving my grandmother a widow at age 43, just as she was making her first million. You know she's 103 now. Even this year she said again that she never remarried because she did not know if someone loved her for herself or her money. She tells a story of a date she had, a man took her hands in his, and said, "Your hands are made of gold." I guess that would put me off, too! While I was going through chemo, I had to do a presentation at a college that had been set up even before I had cancer. I was wearing a purple knit hat, I was very very thin, and I had chemo brain.(brain fog) The audience was counselors, professors, others who dealt with PTSD in their practice, I was talking about child sexual abuse & PTSD. It was not my story, it was research I was selected to do & I received a grant to do it. There were only 42 in the room. I got 41 great evaluations, and one that said "could not make sense of her statistics..." as if it was my fault that she could not understand. So, like Dancer says, there is always at least one. I did take on the self-recrimination, oh what could I have done to make her understand? But that fact that I did that required presentation while going through chemo gave me lots of support from my peers. I had to re-frame after to focus on the positives, instead of thinking what I did wrong, just like now, as you all help me. BWS is my place for support, and you all never fail me. Dancer, I do intend to speak on my topics as in my book TEARS, and I can't wait to talk about cancer. I've been told I need an agent, but I have no clue who to trust or who would want my topics so I do everything myself, but I'm limited to local agencies that have no budget for speakers. EW, thank you too, and to everyone else who supported me here. I am growing my hair for "Locks of Love." I have to get to a 10 inch ponytail. I am starting from earlobe length. I found an AVEDA salon owner who will stick with me for the 2 years it will take. I don't want a new stylist each time I need a trim. I'm doing it now because it's my last chance. When I grey, I plan to be grey, but Locks of Love manufacturers cannot dye grey hair. I think I got my rant out of my system. I am humbled by those who responded or thought about me because I know you all have troubles of your own. Lots of hugs and kisses, Lynn

Princess,
You might find an agent fastest by contacting an entertainment attorney. There are attorney that focus only on handling contracts and such for people in the public eye and usually they work in tandem with agents.

Dancer

Princess,

You healing will come within writing your book and you anger toward you cancer will heal you from within . Go and write and vent your feeling for this to shall pass. Go and tell you story and help the ones who are suffering now from breast cancer . Write , Write

Sadie

Lynn,
I just read this. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother and I know this is adding to your pain.

Everyone who's been there can agree, cancer is hell. Sometimes you have faith and friends and hope and family and you still die. It sucks. Some days the shit hits the fan and we're just standing on the wrong side of the blades.

Writing is cathartic. It doesn't make the pain go away but puts it down on paper so some of the hurt releases into the larger universe where it gets to disperse a bit. I'm 10 years out and the sadness can just HIT but it's not as bad as it used to be. I think it remains in our hearts forever as long as we are human.

Ranting and writing are both releases of the pressure valve. If we can't explode (in a non-violent way) then we implode. Too much implosion equals suicide. Explosion/rants/writing are steps towards healing.

Eventually, the implosion/explosion balances out a bit and the pain is not as constant. But the stitches remain on our heart.

As my doctor told me after one of my surgeries (I had 3 in 6 weeks) "Try not to bust your stitches out."

You know I say this in caring and love.
Your sister on the wrong side of the fan blades
Meredith

Great words of wisdom, Meredith. We all need that vent. It really has me thinking because I've never, ever really had an explosion but have talked about it a little here and there. Lynn, you go, girl....your book will be a huge part of your healing.
Yet another sister on the wrong side of the fan blades,
Jane.

Lynn, have you read the book The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan? If not, let me know. I have an extra copy. I'll mail it to you. It's also autographed. I heard her speak at a luncheon held by The Red Devils, a local cancer support group for families. Her book is an account of her living with cancer as a mother, sister, daughter, and wife. It's fantastic. She makes you laugh, cry, and walk every step of her path with her. It's amazing. I read it when it was first published, and was so grateful to be invited to that luncheon to hear her speak.

I think it would be a great book to list in the competition section of your proposal.

Email me your address and I'll put it in the mail.