Geez, what a story. You trapped a naked man in your bed?! Did you hide his clothes or what?

I was married to a guy who cheated on me, and really wish I had a clue. I'm really blind sided by certain kinds of people, and never used to figure that someone close to me would lie. It doesn't make sense to me. Do you want to be married or don't you? if you don't, then say so and let's split up. If you do, then why are you fooling around with other women? My ex owned a bunch of stores, so he had so many convenient alibis -- maybe he was even sleeping with the store managers, who knows? These days, in the age of AIDS, I think it's a dangerous thing to be sleeping with someone who might be sleeping around. So in the name of public health, I'd tell -- and definitely would have wanted to be told.

No Di, I told her he was a slimeball and she said she didn't believe me and that he told her I might say that because he loved her and not me. DAH!!! This guy loved everyone that was breathing. Anyway we all hung out at the Holiday Inn in the dance club. She was married so had to go home early most nights. After he said his good nights to her, back he'd come slippen and a sliden around all the women there. He zeroed in on me more than once, so one night I told him okay but he needed to come to my place as I didn't want anyone to see us and tell Patty, my cousin! He said okay and we planned for that Friday, because I knew it was her husbands bowling night and she could get out. Whew, long winded story!

I called her the next day, Wednesday and told her I had something urgent to show her. Thats when she told me she was going to run away with Charlie, the slimeball, the following month. I told her that it was imperative that she use her key to my home, and to be as quiet as a mouse, to let herself in at exactly 11:00 p.m. and come down the hall to my bedroom. She gave me her word. Charlie arrived about 10:00 p.m. and I fixed him a couple of drinks and when he got frisky I unbuttoned my blouse and flirtingly said, you go down to my bedroom, get naked, and I will be there with a surprise for you. He hurried down the hall, I put music on and stripped down to my black lace slip and bra. I went down the hall as slow as possible and there he was, looking like a featherless flamingo, all pink and ugly. I did a little dance to get him more worked up, until I heard the door lock click, then I got on the bed and said, okay Charlie whose the man? By then with him trying devour me, in walked my cousin. Bam!!!! He jumped up, couldn't get his clothes on fast enough and blamed the entire thing on me supposedly getting him drunk, but she could see he was stone cold sober.

She told him to leave and when he started to stutter some stupid excuse, I took the gun from the nightstand drawer and faster than a speeding bullet, Charlie was gone.

She was out of control and she slapped me and said some nasty stuff but I knew she was just devastated. She called two days later and said thank you to me, could I ever forgive her, that she knew I hated Charlie and how much she knew I loved her to risk doing such a thing to prove he was a loser and not worth ruining her life over...(By the way Charlie never did anything but fumble around, never touched me.) I'm just gald she got there as planned.

Patty and her husband Bill have been together now 54 years and she never cheated ever again.

Haven't a clue what happened to Charlie, he never came around again that I saw. I heard his wife caught him with someone and divorced him...

You know, some men never completely grow up, they just bigger (not big in the way they think, but fatter).

Wow...chatty...you are a brave woman to do that. Whoa!!!

I like Chatty's idea of sending a note. Wives usually know if
their husband cheats. But that is still a difficult question,
there, Dee. You're a wise gal. Do whatever you think is best!

Personally, I like honesty in my friends.

I think there are some women out there that know their husbands are cheating and have learned to accept that situation. I would guess, however, this is not the norm.

When I was very young (please forgive me, girls) I thought I was in love with a married man and he with me. We even ran away together. After a week of living together in San Diego, I looked at him and told him he bored me. I think I was in love with the idea of being in love. As I said, I was very young.

Cheating on a partner is one of my non-negotiables in a relationship. (Please understand, girlfriends, I was only 19)I would never, ever, under any circumstances cheat sexually or emotionally on any man. I have partnered with real sh**s, and I didn't cheat. I can not accept that behavior from someone else.

But that wasn't the question, was it?

No, I would not tell. I would say to the cheater, however, that they are confused about what love is all about. I would suggest they seek professional help.

I'd have to tell my friend. I would want to know and I would give my friend the honesty I needed myself.

Hopefully it wouldn't come to any gun play but I'm comfortable with a gun so I wouldn't be frightened of a druggie.

Dancer9

Chatty, helluva story, thanks for sharing.

If folks want to cheat, then they should stay single! Joy Behar
has lived with her boyfriend for 18 years. There's a couple
around here who have been engaged for 25 years. Guess marriage is
too scary for 'em. Marriage and cheating just don't fit together!

On the other hand, I have known people who think swapping
partners is good for a marriage. What say you????