Saundra, I don't think I would have tied my feelings of invisibility to grief. But it tied in by way of family gatherings with my husband's family...yes, they're mine too, but it's not the same. Being around them reminded me of my own family gatherings, which are no longer possible. Sometimes the agony of absence just excruciates me, and I feel invisible because there is no place to share MY family stories anymore. It's right and good that they have theirs and the chance to gather and share and laugh together. And I do belong, and I'm so blessed that they all love me and accept me and that his grandchildren know and love me as their grandmother. Still, it's hard to completely ignore the sadness of how I can't share any of my history or family stories in those gatherings. That does leave me feeling invisible and out of place, and those feelings are hard to shake. But I did shake them off, and can see how they are just one more facet of grief to acknowledge and evolve myself through. Sigh.
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.