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#181523 - 05/05/09 06:06 PM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: ]
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
The new apartment she has does not allow pets.

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#181532 - 05/05/09 08:12 PM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: Di]
Expat Offline


Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 71

Yes, Di is right. I can't have any pets where we are, which is really sad. Naturally, that only adds to my grief. You see,we're only renting at the moment - initially for 6 months.

Until we decide what to do with the finances, I am in limbo. Although I know I shouldn't go back now that we are connected, I still feel the need to see him so he knows I am still around. Sad, again, I know, but like you said, pets are family members.

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#181825 - 05/08/09 10:42 PM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: ]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
If only there for 6 months couldn't you sneak the cat in and just keep it away from windows. There is always a way when things are desperate enough. If you get caught just say it came to the door and you were waiting for someone from the SPCA to come fetch it....???????????????
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#181852 - 05/09/09 03:13 PM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: chatty lady]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Expat,
Praying for you and your son. Hope all is fine and you find
somewhere to rent, where you can have pets. There are landlords
around with a heart, who allow tenants to own pets. Blessings,

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#181862 - 05/10/09 12:21 AM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: Di]
HappyWednesday Offline


Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
As a coach who specializes in divorce, most women do not realize the emotional roller coast ride of divorce. It is extremely important for your friend to take care of herself like she has never done before. Eat well, exercise, get plenty of rest, but most importantly take a minimum of 10 minutes a day to recharge her batteries or fill her energy tank. For example journal, meditate, relax with a cup of tea in a favorite chair or a sacred space. One method that works well with my clients, change your scenery and be present in the moment using all your senses.
_________________________
Author, Radio Personality, Speaker
Business/Personal Coach- specializing in divorce and Cert. Laughter Leader

www.FreshStartAfterDivorce.com
jw@joanwinberg.com

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#181875 - 05/10/09 01:20 PM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: HappyWednesday]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Happy,
Your advise is good 4 everyday living, as well!


Edited by jabber (05/11/09 10:32 PM)

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#181878 - 05/10/09 01:27 PM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: jabber]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Joanie knows her stuff, let me tell you. Glad to see you here, Joanie, and thanks for offering this advice. Coming from someone who's been there, done that, I can tell you that her words are dead on. It is so important to put your mental self first during all of this!

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#181968 - 05/11/09 06:57 PM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: jawjaw]
Expat Offline


Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 71
You know, I just popped on here because I am in a terrible state at the minute. I started reading all your posts and found the need to write.

I've just come from the house to pick up something and ended up spending time with the cat again. Naturally, I ended up in tears and had to leave. But what really upset me is the fact that my husband doesn't seem to give a ****! There have been quite a few incidents lately which confirms the fact and I realize it shouldn't bother me, as I know he's not an emotional person, but I still find it unbelievable that he can be so cold!

I mean, he knew we were moving out, but:

1. Never asked where we were moving to until two weeks after I informed him.
2. Didn't even ask the number of the flat until moving day.
3. Never asked for our phone number. I eventually offered it just in case he wanted to enquire about us.
4. Never even called to see how I was with my recent bad reaction to some medicine I was taking.
5. Never calls to, at least, tell me there is mail for us at the house.

It's not that it's totally unexpected, but all throughout he kept insisting that he still loved me. Surely not the actions of someone who supposedly feels that way. I guess I am still naive in thinking he actually meant it!

I know it's crazy, as he's always been unemotional, but it hurts me terribly to see him so uncaring. Sorry, but the tears just keep flowing.

Wait...a thought just popped into my head...Do you think he is doing this intentionally to make me feel bad for leaving him? I just don't know. frown Like I said, it just popped into my head.

And yet, as upset as I am over all this, I agreed to go with him to a concert at one of the schools in which he teaches. How naive am I? I was about to call him to cancel the date, but hung up. Talk about emotional roller coaster.

I knew this was going to be hard, but it's obviously harder than I ever imagined.

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#181970 - 05/11/09 07:04 PM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: Expat]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I'm so sorry you are suffering, but from the way he's acting, I think you are doing the right thing.

What do you miss most:

the house
the cat
him
or the idea of no longer having the ever after piece to your marriage?

When I'm down, I either pray or take a walk outside. I hope there is something you can do to change your frame of mind, at least for a bit. Cringing and hurting for you in MD. Hang in there
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#181974 - 05/11/09 07:40 PM Re: Preparations for divorce [Re: Dotsie]
Edelweiss3 Offline


Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
Expat, this might not be the best example, but I remember…a looong time ago I wanted to break up with my boyfriend. I had written him a letter and had no doubt in my mind that I wanted it to be over. Well, the creep was faster than I was. He called and broke up with me, and I was devastated. Even while I was terribly hurt, I couldn’t understand it, because I didn’t want him anymore. So I guess it was my pride that hurt. Hurt pride is pain full…but maybe not as pain full as a broken heart.
Whatever, Hon, just spill out your sorrow. Let it out. And if your husband isn’t crying over you, then it’s just another confirmation that you have done the right thing.
_________________________
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
Goethe

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