Gims
your racist attitude is very clear here. Why was the woman's race important in this conversation? Have you never encountered a white rude person? would you have written to us here "this rude white woman pushed me out of line"
please explain to me what racist thing the black woman did.
I have encountered many people of all races who were not rude.
and a few rude ones too.

Yes, Dee, me too. It's a glow that I have never seen before, and I love it. It's called hope. Hope for every person of color, who might never amount to much, but that their own children or grandchildren, if they have the pluck and gumption really can pursue the american dream heretofore seemingly denied to them.

I have also read that book "A Different Mirror" It really explains a lot about the animosity different downtrodden groups have had and still have for each other in the USA.

EW, your daughter-in-law's family might have some dysfunctional family members who are wrongfully manifesting their own problems to someone as distant to them as yourself..even though you have tried to be supportive in many different ways. You are distant to them, because of the cultural difference, based on brief descriptions of them. It was wrong they didn't thank you and your hubby for wedding. But guess that's past, given all the tougher developments now in strained marriage for your son, etc.

Some people, both Asians and non-Asians have told me that they aren't treated well in Chinatown at times or whatever. Most times it's just business as usual...good and bad.

Well, I get treated both politely and rudely in Chinatown depending..on the person. Rudeness and hostility is not the way to go for any society or human relations. But different cultures and different people's personality express negative stuff in different ways. I view some Asians just highly entrepreneurial and pushy. Period. And many working in restaurants and stores probably don't like their jobs...because it's low-paying. It's not part of their ultimate Canadian/American dream of making it big. Then there are those who give decent or at least civil, honest service. That's good enough for me. I'm not expecting the red carpet no matter how much money I am willing to pay.

By the way, EW, the big in joke between my partner and myself, is now that I have experienced directly working for and with many Germans in the firm I was with, that there IS a fit between the standoffish, technical, organized German and the technical, high organized Chinese workers. The negatives of the 2 cultures, actually worked well in sychronization on the working relationships in the firm where I worked. Neither the Germans nor the Chinese of what I saw have much patience for things done in a slow-moving, lazy way at all. Yet to others from other cultural (or just family) backgrounds that are more persuasive slower, emotional, warmer,....Germans and CHinese at my workpace, would be viewed as cold/cool/distant, direct and stoic. And to receive such treatment in the workplace would be viewed as rude, discriminatory, etc.

My partner and I giggle about this discovery of bi-cultural fit --in an ironic way. Before working with many Germans, I wouldn't have even dared to make this observation.
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Yes, my mother doesn't say excuse me in English. She just doesn't, though we've explained. Now would have any white woman thought something differently if they received her behaviour? Would it be discriminatory or just rude?

Just yesterday, I was sitting at a bakery having my coffee. At the service counter, an Asian man, said loudly and clearly to bearded Caucasian guy: "I was here first. I would like service".

He was there first, as acknowledged by the Caucasian guy. He was in gims' shoes except the pusher was admitted his hastiness.

gims,
White or black, nobody has the right to push their way in front
of another person. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. I'm glad
you are back on the forum. Welcome back!

This evening a neighbor came over with her two munchkins, who are so cute, to have a chat. I told her about the woods on the south side of our property being stripped out and made way for a pine forest farm. Right off the bat this neighbor said, "will you be able to see through to what we call the black-jack neighborhood?"
Do ya'll see what I'm talking about? I'm talking about what's happening with the beautiful forest and instead of talking about that, the conversation immediately goes to blacks. I do not get why so many white people down here feel the need to always bring them up and I can tell you that if I'd been the kind of person who would have taken the low road and began smacking down the black neighborhood, this person would have gone there as well. Instead, I relayed the story of the owner using the "N" word to talk about the African American's across the woods and how inappropriate I thought it was in this day and age. I have to admit that I've never heard Tracy use the N word so perhaps she meant waht she said...I haven't known her that long.
My point now is why so many conversations I have with so many white people here in the south so often turn to a negative topic about black people? It never ends... I swear...I just don't get it. Can someone please explain this nuttiness to me?

It's interesting to read everyone's experiences with prejudices, pushiness and attitudes and how you handle situations.

I don't hang out in social circles where conversation has that type of constant edge to define racial/ethnic barriers. So if this niggling edge pops up where you are Dee, it must be abit ..wearying. Guess it becomes like a bee buzz..drone.

However as I have mentioned last year, I used to take a daily bus as part of my commute to the suburbs for work. Any loud mouthed guys tended to sit at the back of the bus, and sometimes there was a spew of racial/ethnic-slurred references. These are factory workers. But then 5 months ago, I remember sitting at business lunch with some university-educated managers from UK...and they mentioned in a disdainful way, the Polish immigrants (and other Eastern Europe workers) dominating certain neighbourhoods. Perhaps someone can speak to this. But this was from the mouths of 2 well-educated UK guys (white).

I was surprised on one hand on the other hand not. These guys were ex-pats. with privileges of comfy salaries and international work assignments who socialized primarily with other ex-pats., not much with the locals. (I asked one of the guys in an indirect way.)

Your right Orchid, It's in the past, and I have to let go. Most importantly, I don't want to generalise. There are all kinds on both sides.

Here's an interesitng aricle:
Why I'll take the racism in America ANYDAY over the one in France...

Dee, I think your attempts with your neighbors are noble. I don't know why people are so obsessed with race. It's very sad because they pass this BS on to their children and the hatred continues.

I know..that's the most disturbing part...the children. A human being isn't born to hate...they are taught.
I remember one of the little kids asking me who I was voting for and when I said Obama she said, "I hate you." True story. "I hate you." I asked her why she hated me for voting for Obama and she said, "because he's black." And so the teaching of hating someone solely based on the color of their skin marches on down here...it just blows me away.

Ann...yes my neighbors are white. I didn't use that white/black talk...I don't think that would have made much sense to a child of that age. I try to reach them in a soft and gentle way. When they mention something negative I come back with something positive.

But, I understand your logic and so far no one is banging on my door. That could, however, change. Let's keep our fingers crossed that that doesn't happen.