I don't think you can ever prepare yourself for the death of someone you love....I think you will miss that person for the rest of your life.
My beloved grandmother died 15 years ago; her angel spirit is with me still.

Love never dies; that is the beauty.......My thoughts are with you (although i don't know you); I understand the pain of loss.

Love and Hugs, Alice

Thank you, I am so glad you responded Your Majesty. That interview of yours I listened to was a great big help for me when my dad passed away. I think I would've been a wreck if I hadn't heard it. So thank you for sharing, I know it cannot be easy. I have felt better since I started posting, and getting all this feedback.

Alice, thanks for taking the time. I have been a member here since 2004. I come and go depending on what is going on. But this is the only forum I come to and keep coming too. I look forward to getting to know you Alice and thanks again.

Cheers,
Cathi

I think that grief is very much a roller-coaster ride, especially for the first few years. I can have really good days, even weeks, and then like JJ says, wham, something triggers that agony-of-absence and it hits me right in the gut and reduces me to a puddle of tears. Dad's been gone for 10 years now, and it can hit me harder now than ever, if I really think about it. Gary is still too fresh, everything still reminds me of his laughter - and his absence. I miss him terribly some days (my birthday being a huge trigger, because he used to give me LOTS of gifts - we always tried to outdo each other...mostly gag gifts, but still, it was so much fun. I think the record is me giving him 40 and him giving me 50 when I turned 50).

As the years pass and I evolve, I actually sort of cherish the pain...well, the pain is there whether I want it or not, so I might as well try and find the golden nugget buried inside of that pain! In a way, that pain reminds me of how much I loved that person and how much that person loved me - both very enriching to a soul who didn't know a whole lot about authentic love up until very recently. The pain is excruciating, and it's hard to breathe through it sometimes, but the love is exhilarating, enough to lift me above the pain just long enough that the shards don't pierce me beyond my ability to bounce back.

I so understand where you are coming from Eagle. My husband has been dead now for so long but often times its as if he were right here beside me. Then I am bummed for days.

Cathi, it's great to see you posting again. It sounds like you are grieving the death of Dad, and possibly missing Mom. Even though you are happy for her, she isn't as close in distance and that could be hard for you too. I'm sorry you are going through all of this heartache, but please recall these few words:

The Lord comforts those who mourn.

Someone wrote these in a card to me when Mom died. They are simple, but I drew strength from them whenever I began to get down about Mom's passing. I hope they give you the boost you need.

I relived Mom's death and dying today while attending a cousin's funeral. She died a similar death to Mom (cancer). The final song was Eagle's Wings and that began the tears rolling. They also sang Ave Maria which was one of Mom's favorites. Worship music speaks to me. Even though I was sad, it was actually nice to think of Mom in a church setting.

Cathi, carrying you in prayer.

Eagle's Wings is one of my favourites...sends my spirit soaring. My favourite mug has that scripture verse written on it, so it helps me start my day off with that image...

"and He shall raise you up on Eagle's wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of His Hand"...what beautiful words!

Cathi.....the bible, in Ecclesiastes, says "a time to mourn"...it does not say how long. Lord knows I still cry over Mom who died in '75. Yes, it still hurts to my core.

"Time" is what you have.

I understand what you mean by pain Eagle. I think if I didn't have the pain, I wouldn't be alive, if that makes any sense. I had a wonderful relationship with my dad. He wasn't only my dad, he was my friend too. But now I need to focus on cherishing the memories with him and with that, I can feel him guiding me, even now.

Dotsie, I do miss my mom, but this was the best thing for her. I talk to her all the time and the other day I told her she didn't have to go back and live in that house. Richard already told her she was more than welcome to come and live with us. In fact, bless his heart, one of the last things he said to my dad was, "I promise you, I will take care of Cathi and Sofia (My mom's name is Sofia too)". Anyway, I have an aunt, my mom's sister, who lives only a couple of miles away from me. In fact, she stayed with my parent's and was a great big help to my dad in his last months. My aunt is trying to talk her into moving here too. The seeds have been planted, and I think, for her, being in Greece will help her sort things out a bit clearer.

You are right Di, He didn't tell us how long. I actually like the book of Ecclesiastes for a time like this. God tells us how to live in this flesh body. I read the Bible to my dad on the day he died and I read him verses of comfort to him. I read to him this portion, Ecclesiastes 12:6-7

"6 or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.

7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it."

I am glad you mentioned this Di, I went back and read that entire chapter. It was comforting in a simple way.

I love you all alot!

Cathi

Friends, I still mourn the loss of my dad-over 30 yrs ago. While I am comforted by God's promises, there are many things and moments that bring our memory to those days when our loved one was with us.

I have that blessed hope of resurrection when Christ returns, yet I miss my dad; some times, more than others.

Humans were not created to be separated. Death was not part of God's plan for mankind. That's why it hurts so much.

We do need to be considerate of those dealing with the pain of loss. Cathi, I pray for your strength and comfort, and for all those in need of it.
Blessings to each of you!

Hi Cathi,
I believe writing is a wonderful release, too. Losing a Daddy
is so very difficult. My adoptive Dad died in 1986, and I think of him everyday. IMO, he was one of the greatest men ever. Death is not easy to emotionally handle for those left behind. But, as if praying, I talk to DAD via the spirit. Others on here talk to loved ones through the spirit. God's blessings. May your grief lighten more 'n more each day!