Isn't it funny that family members think they know each other well, and make all sorts of assumptions.

I have a thing going on now with my youngest. Last week he came to town and I took him out to lunch and he got upset with me for asking him about his plans (he wants to quit a job and move to another city, but without a job waiting for him there. And I'm saying, hey, the economy is about 10% unemployment. Doesn't seem like the time for this -- and other sensible motherly types of advice.) When he expressed his displeasure at me for querying him, I said, "OK. Here's a hint for you: going to lunch means conversation. If you don't like where the conversation is going, then change the subject. Hey, ask me about ME for a change."

It strikes me that my kids never ask me about me.

So today he was back, and I took him to lunch and was telling him about how I'm making travel plans for next fall and who knows, maybe I'll even visit him. He said "where will that be?" Ha! see how he tried to talk about himself again! So I said, I'm not going there. We're talking about ME now.

My siblings are equally uncurious about me. Sometimes they act like I've been frozen in time.

I don't know how often you see some of your siblings or contact them. We do trot out the conversation opener: "How are things or what's up with you these days?" Even when I lived in the same city as sibs for a number of years. I was only in contact (phone, visiting) with any sibling every 2-3 weeks. Which works in our family.

Last 8 yrs. I've been living in a different province of the Canada, so yes, we do ask about each other. Contact with any sibling averages out to be once a month. And generally speaking, we get along fine with some imperfections.

My partner's adult children rarely ask about him. I just asked him now. Yes, I think this is abit selfish of them. They are after all, 31 & 29. Not that young. But they are behaving as if they are still living 20 years ago with a parent.

Even if a parent gives a predictable answer, it's still nice for an adult child to ask of the parent about their lives.

I'm so surprised to read this. I thought not asking about another person's life is a "German" thing.

As far as family members go, I don't wait to be asked. I tell them what is going on. I ask them as well. My youngest son calls me almost every day, sometimes even twice. He has often nothing to say...so we just breathe in the phone, and think that is very funny. When I ask him about his life, then he opens up; but he needs to be prodded. I wonder...is this a male thing? No, I don’t think so; my brother is different. He tells me everything. I love that about him.
And my oldest son gets quieter the older he gets. He used to be the gabbiest of us all. He never calls me, never is interested in my life, and hardly ever talks about his. It’s sad. I miss the way he used to be.

I love reading about your families. I wonder why people say when asked, "How are you?" They say, "I'm fine." Is it just because
they don't want to bother going into detail ro do they think
the other person really doesn't want to know.

It's like the preacher said one morning in a sermon, when I ask you at the front door how you are doing, this doesn't include hearing about your hemorrhoid operation, STEP-BY-STEP. Just a "fine, and how are you," works for me.

My children USED to call when they needed something. As you know, I have two boys. I finally said to them one day, "You know boys, it would be nice just to get a call that said you just wanted to know how I was doing."

Since then, I can't shut them up. They both call AT LEAST once a week. They visit...they only ask about ME, and I finally said, "Who are you people and what have you done with my children?"

It's either chicken or feathers....am I right? Where's the balance?

Boy ain't that the truth!!!!

Chicken or feathers, hey?
And how are you, today?


jj,
Is that far right?

Jawjaw,
By the bye, my son still phones only when he needs something,
and it's usually money! So you're not a lone sailor on that ship, there honey!

I wish I would hear more from my sons, both of them, but like all or most parents my son calls when he needs something and not because he needs just to hear my voice. How sad is that? I have always called my mom just to hear her laugh and know she is okay.