Anno, I experienced that with my mother too. Staying in the hospital completely disoriented her. I wonder why that is? She is still confused about it, and has told friends that she’s still in the hospital, although she is back at the senior home.

Maybe Alzheimer and dementation is a sort of protection, cushioning all the heartfelt changes in old age.

Frankly, I don’t know how you do it; work and caring for two loved ones. Really, all you can do is set your priorities.

I was amazed that you could still travel with Dennis like you did. But if the care he needs is around the clock, would you ever consider putting him in assisted living? Maybe even in the same complex where your mother is?

I know you once had a heart attack.
Dear Anno, the number one priority is YOU.

Anno, did your mom have signs of confusion before she went in the hospital? I recall Mom being in once and she became confused. They called it sundowning - I think. I'm thinking it will go away. Make sure she gets to see the light of day each day. That's so important. Sounds simple, but so many people in hospitals and care facilites don't even open the shade, and sunlight is so good for them. It also helps them separate their days from nights. How sad.

I can't bare the htought of you caring for your mom and Dennis all alone.

Tonight, when all the caring is finished for the day, sit back, relax, and have a glass of wine. Do some deep breathing and think happy thoughts. I pray you can do so.

Anno
all the small things...
Letting beauty and peace hit my brain via my eyes and ears...topping this up.some times its art others music .
most of all seeing the things than endure...landscape
the hills and esturary to the North sea..Today it was lunch..then a drive round Loch Leven..its a nature sanctuary so geese swans are all gathering.Then I saw a huge shire horse rolling on his back with joy..he was like a tank...
I dont watch violence on film...I have a ritual at bedtime when I read ..and whatever I have to cope with I know that moment with come and rest..

No one can be on duty or call all the time...Husband had an eye op two weeks ago..so return trips have been priority...so me being under the weather is part of the whole picture..
a wise friend now passed told me..."We work out our own salvation"
Our task is recognising what our salvation is..and for each it is different.

Yes, Dots, my mom was diagnosed with alzheimer's two years ago. She was just starting to get the routine at her new home when she fell. She was better today - I think it was partly the pain medications.

Mountain, I live in the state of 10,000 lakes. The city I live in was built on a river, like most early cities over here, and there are twelve lakes within the city limits. There are beautiful walkways, biking paths, parkways, and parks around all of them. And they are all connected by a creek that runs through them. They are beautiful, but unlike Scotland's Lochs, they are busy, busy, busy with cars.

Edel, I read where people with advanced Alz, tend not to get sick very easily. The simply forget that they may be sick, and get over illnesses easily. I often think about you are your Mother when we are going through this.

Every other Saturday, I treat myself to a day off (with Dennis), by paying a housekeeper to come in and clean our place. This morning, as Dennis and I were headed to the hospital to see Ma, we crossed paths. She told me that she was thinking of me yesterday and said a prayer for us. Isn't that nice?

A housecleaner would be a Godsend...more time for relationships.
You deserve to have this..and bet you are a good employer...

anno, this is an awful lot to handle. You must feel like you are being pulled in all sorts of different directions. Hold on to your self. Anno, I beg to differ trifling with where you placed your topic as "a very fine whine" your situation is much greater than that my dear, Lynn

Interesting. My mother was a diagnosed hypo chondria. Although it was annoying, I always felt sorry for her. There were other very serious illnesses with very evident symptoms. Her body was telling what her mind dared not. Now that she has Alzheimer's she does not complain of any ailments whatsoever. We can go outside in the shade in Arizona where it is 95 degrees, and my skin may be burning, and she does not notice. She does not notice the glare of the sun as we are driving, but I put on her sunglasses anyway so not to damage the retina. Also with the dementia, if you listen very carefully, you will hear her spill her secrets. I dread the day she falls because she is so frail, and she may not feel the pain.

Princess, and how are you doing? You have your own handfuls in life. You, too Anne and Mountain.

I am thankful for friends like you - and I wish all of our lives were easier.

I am transferring my mom from the hospital to a transitional care unit at the facility she has been living at for the past two months. I am so happy that I chose wisely, and that she can stay in the same building.

As I sat down, at almost noon, to write in here, I realized I hadn't eaten yet. I have gotten Dennis out of bed, fed (food and tube feeding), fed the cat, showered and dressed Dennis, visited my mother in the hospital for a few minutes, and moved some clothing from one floor to another at her transition unit. I must go an eat before I am off, once again, to pick her up and move her. Then groceries, walgreens, cooking.....

Ah, who will take care of me one of these days?

Wonder Anno
eating when "flight or fight" might hinder our basic drive so not having food sometimes may be a tactic the brain uses...not to be recommended long term..
I put my caring needs first for a long period of time..then a pattern emerged when things settles somewhat.and then repeated as you know..and so on
Of course the thought of how we gain space time and our own way is so heartbreaking that we are yet still driven.

What about a smoothie already in a flask so you nutrients are taken

Anne, there are bowls of "word salad" Yes, Mom has been very combative. The worst was after her surgery 2.5 years ago to explore the extend of her cancer. The anesthesia caused all kinds of brain mush. She'd look at her husband of 50 years, recognize his face, and say, "I don't want YOU. I want the other Brian!" And she did tell me to get out. 6 months later, her dementia was violent, and she was put on a strong med. She was knocking on neighbors' doors telling them to get the kids off the roof or she would call the police. Or she'd try to hit my step father on the head with the phone if he tried to take it away from her. The top of her head barely reaches his torso. You have to have the leisure of "down town" to decipher the word salad. And a note pad. It's kind of like doing a cross-word puzzle. Anne, you must have highly honed coping skills and mountains of love in your heart.