In the 6 years since I joined BWS, I've seen mostly love and caring but a few flat out nasty fights. Sometimes hurtful things are said to-or-about someone of a differing opinion. Being an open forum, we also get the occasional person who is emotionally toxic.

Whenever these incidents occur, I'll get emails/pm's from women who didn't say anything in the forums, but voiced their disapproval to me (and I'm sure to others as well.) Quite a few of them dropped out rather than deal with confrontation and what they saw as hostility.

That was then -- and more than one then.

Now, perhaps the lack of more diversity is a perpetuating perception of lack of diversity -- in other words, "I" (not Meredith-I, just random-I) am diverse but this group is not; therefore, it doesn't speak to my interests.

I dunno. Everything has its ebb and flow.

On the personal side, being a one-woman business in an iffy economy means I work insane hours to stay afloat. Many other people work overtime to make ends meet, or to find employment. In a bad economy, people have less leisure time.

I have said this before and I will say it again as one of the oldest most active members here:

If something isn't broken, stop trying to fix it!

I for one am happy with the wonderful women who post here, many come, read, look around and leave. But many stay, thats just the way forums work. It seems to me that our dear Dotsie pops up everywhere promoting this forum and the NABBW.
I am thoroughly convinced she had herself cloned long ago!!!

I don't think orchid thinks the forums are broken. I just think she's mentioning that she'd like more women to post. I would also like others to post, however, there are so many forums online now, that I believe people find what they like, occasionally move around, lurk, and lurk some more.

If anyone is interested in seeing all the sites we are mentioned on, just do some Googling for Dotsie Bregel, www.nabbw.com, www.boomerwomenspeak.com, etc.

Do you ever think that we are so tight a community that women find it hard to break in and join us? Just wondering...

I don't think anyone has a problem posting whatever is on their
mind. The topics are as varied as the people. Don't see a problem.

Actually I wasn't referring to anyone in particular when saying, if it isn't broke, don't fix it. I was referring to things in life in general and yes, sometimes even here. Seems to be the way of the world, human nature seems to makes us want to be tinkering with perfection.

Everyone when joining our group is given a very warm welcomes by everyone and urged to post wherever they find something interesting. I don't know how to get women to participate and post more than they want to, maybe we should STOP the regular posters from posting as much (like me) if other women feel we are clicky.... NA!!! Dumb idea.

LOL, Chatty, can't help but respond with words from a wise woman I know: If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Actually things only feel "perfect" only for the active posters here who participate regularily.

We don't know common reasons why other women leave and why many more won't post here regularily. Except different interests and personal schedule committments.

Number of women posting regularily will then remain small here.

I don't buy the argument of being busy, as the main reason for no participation, epecially when I already participate in a totally different forum for women where there are alot of women over 40-50 yrs. (this other forum does iinformal polling amongst ourselves) and older, some are Christian (and others are not), also have regular jobs and children. There are younger women also, since group not defined by historical phenomena-age range.

and they find time to bike.
The demographics of the other women's group is abit different, still strongly American but far more international membership in regular participation in terms of % and abit more diverse racial/ethnic composition. Hence, more perspectives, things to learn.

Does this make some people here feel uncomfortable, puzzled? Is it discomforting to ask such harmless questions? What do you think the main demographic of this group is? While we are all human, our backgrounds, perceptions can affect one interacts with others. It's a reality.

I also think there would be more women who could benefit immensely from this forum but they don't know about it. And yes, it takes time to understand any forum by observing, participating in baby steps..

Off to do other stuff.

With regards to others not knowing about it. I spend hours promoting BWS and NABBW. I've spent thousands of dollars (over $22,000.00 to one NCY PR firm) promoting this site. I've gotten tons of free media, but it takes a tremendous marketing budget, that I don't have, to do more promoting. These forums are FREE so I'm not sure where the money is to come from for promotion. NABBW members pay 50 or 75 dollars and they can use these forums to promote themselves. We are also up against many other forum communities and social networking sites that have those tremendous budgets. However, I will say, I've seen other boomer sites come and go through the years, and we've hung in there.

I like the idea of surveying forum members only and making it a blind survey. I like that. We could send it through our data base and post it here using a Survey Monkey.

We survey NABBW members, but have never surveyed forum members about the fourms only. Looks like another project...

FYI: yesterday, after doing some social networking, there were over 60 epeople in the forums at once. None joined, but it's perhaps because they aren't looking for a forum to post. They are already Twittering, using Facebook, and LinkedIN, the sites I use for social networking. However, they hung out for some time and learned about a place for boomer women.

At the end of each Open University summer school each group is asked to fill in a detailed survey about their experience..
I have witnessed lecturers I admire and repect being devestated when their seniors debrief at a meeting.Sat in the cafeteria whilst brilliant people smart from hearing what a minority think..
But each participant there has a voice..and that what drives excellence.

I have not contributed to this discussion...too near Christmas to get upset..
I do look to see what women from other countries (diversity) experience..Humlan brings much to the discussions as does EW..and I note today a NZ poster.The life experiences..Anno and others.all rich resources.Orchid and Eagle from Canada all draw my interest.
The use of language..the nuances...but the stance that nothing has ever been wrong...and people go away healed is not my own take on things at all.So until now I have kept silent.

I personally would pay to be here..not having a business there is no reason for me to advertise..but my reasoning is that I buy a magazine..and buy credits and memberships for my geneolgy.
so it follows I would pay for use of resouces

I will never discuss politics here again.and never try to explain my reasons...so maybe I have set limits on what I share..

The answer is not that I leave..dont post but I understand why people cease to post...

Orchid you set a question.I did not find it uncomforable.