PJ, thank you for posting your story, I know it must’ve been emotionally draining and I truly appreciate this more than you know. I am sorry I hadn’t responded sooner, actually, I went away this past weekend for my granddaughter’s 2nd birthday. My daughter does not have internet access because she is behind in paying her bills. I refuse to bail her out. I will only help her work out a strategy to pay it on her own, but she doesn’t want to hear it so I will not waste anymore time and energy than I have to. Anyway, this is the first time I’ve had a chance to respond.
Setting boundaries is very difficult when you are used to feeling guilty for every move you make. Taking care of yourself is so much easier said than done, especially when you grow up with the example of “sacrificing everything for your family”. Well these are different times, unlike the generations before us when those who benefited from the “sacrifices” reciprocated by becoming responsible adults and respected their parents and/or elders. I am not holding my breath and perhaps that could be why I’ve let it go on this long. Thinking the days of “sacrifices” will pay off was just around the corner. Then Richard and I could have some peace for a change and live the simple life we want to live. But I have to accept the fact that that time might never come.
I am glad you were able to take a step by going to another State. Maybe because my daughter lives 6 hours away from us in the same State, it is still too close to home. It may be the key for us too. The longer the distance, the more difficult it would be to pick up and go. Until that time comes, I am going to have the attitude of living farther away. What I mean by that, and I thought about it this weekend ironically. I am going to have to make my visits the same way as I would if I lived farther away. In other words, not make any trips one weekend a month. Perhaps limit my visits to twice a year for a week at a time. Although, I am hoping to have my granddaughter here this summer for a week with just my husband and myself. But this is something I want to do.
As for New Mexico, I haven’t heard from my friend, I don’t know if she changed her mind about having me there. It’s alright, I will plan something else if I haven’t been able to make any kind of solid plan with her. As a Sci-Fi buff, I am already making alternate plans to going to NM in July when they have the annual anniversary of the Roswell crash. I’ve always wanted to go to this event. I just joined the UFO Club in VA Beach and I have been enjoying it very much. I’ve always been interested in this subject since I was a little girl and learned there were other planets out there. But I digress.
I'm not there yet, but I'm not where I was, either, and I'm not going back there.
It’s going to take time, and I am not quite where you are, but I am at least going in that direction. I am so glad you told me this. This gives me hope. Too many times we compress our stories and in turn make it look like all we had to do was take a couple of steps and voila, like magic we are empowered. So when it doesn’t work that way, I lose hope and begin to think perhaps there is something wrong with me. Thanks for this PJ.
There is a saying I am growing more and more fond of everyday: "Other people's opinions of us are none of our business." There's a lot of freedom in that sentence.
Excellent quote. Do you know who quoted this?
I'll be keeping you in my prayers. I know how difficult this is!
You are in my prayers as well PJ. God Bless you tenfold dear sister!