Dear Zee, I do not have step children, though my son has a step mother and step-siblings. All I ever wished for my son was to have in his life a step mom who would respect him and his bond with his father. A step mother who would allow him to grow and mature for the fabulous person he is.
Life is not only, at times, difficult for the step parents. Life can also be very difficult for the biological parents. Wouldn’t you want to treat your step children exactly like you would want a possible step mother to treat yours? It’s not a competition, really, it’s about love and acceptance that transcends our very own limits and shows us how big we can be.
Though my husband left me and walked out on me when my son was 6 months old, I have always honored his new children, my son’s half brother and sister, as my own and always welcomed them in my house, actually encouraged them to spend time with my son, their brother here. We have such a tight and wonderful bond that I get to call them my step children and I have an amazing time with them.
You think you may have a difficult time being a step mother, though imagine how the mother may also have a difficult time with her children living with you and not her.
Have fun at the graduations, enjoy the trust others have put on you with their children, and the relationship with all children, step or not step! and embrace the other side of the coin.
Love, Monica

You know with the world the way it is today and life as wild and wacky sometimes. I decided to love those who show me love and ignore those that don't. Life really is too short to allow anyone to disrupt our time here. Love yourself FIRST, and distance yourself from the rest of the garbage out there. It is alot easier than you might think.

Bringing this back up...

Excellent advice, Chatty! We are trying to live your words. For my husband it's more difficult because they're his two daughters. They have been estranged from him for almost 3 years....they play the blame game of a very long story. Anyway, he had a new granddaughter born in October and has another one on the way by his other daughter. We see photos on Facebook of them....so, soooo sad and a true waste of one's time on this earth. But we can't change them....that's for them to wake up and do one day. I only hope it's not too late then.

Chatty,
Your #197723 post on 1/13/10 is excellent advice. If you don't
get along with someone, stay away from them. Surround yourself
we people you love and enjoy life. A friend of mine was diagnosed with leukemia, just prior 2 this past Thanksgiving. She has been hospitalized for long periods of time since then. And this gal is ten years my junior. Again, get some enjoyment out of everyday. Ladyjane, if the stepchildren are not for you, then don't take that to heart. Consider it their loss! If God B 4 me, it doesn't matter who's against me!
Paraphrased from His Word!

I need to take my own advice too. I know what needs to be done but doing it is hard because my ex may be a troll, but he was always a very hard worker and didn't ask or deserve to be downsized, and then everything else just snowballed... Sometimes we have to make the best of what is given to us and thats all we can do...?

Zee,
Welcome. And I've seen firsthand how mean step kids can be.
My best friend's life has been destroyed by her stepchildren.
Literally! So watch your back. And the advice Dotsie and others
have given is good stuff. Try to focus on something good for the
sake of your marriage. But stay alert. And stay safe! Prayers and
blessings!

Any new developments Zee? If so I hope they are positive ones...

Chatty, life is not black and white...I can really understand your situation.

Hey...you mentioned in facebook you may want to move to Colorado?
That sounds pretty interesting. Do you have family there?

Black and white Edelweiss?? I know what you mean. Me, my life is PLAID!!!

I did live in Loveland, CO. in the late 80's and yes, my two sisters and their families live there, in Loveland and Fort Collins. Plus best BWS friend Danita lives there, and Lynn, at least for now.

I'm just thinking out loud for now however. I have it pretty good here and actually live in a wonderful place so I may just stay put, who knows?