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#204360 - 06/06/10 11:11 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: yonuh]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Eagle, I'm just now seeing this for some unknown reason. How it breaks my heart to read everything. I have no tolerance for anyone who would use children as pawns. I have a word for them. Cowards.

Obviously, this woman has mental issues and unfortunately, it doesn't read as though they will ever be addressed. Because of that, you are powerless.

A letter from Hubby to the son is a great suggestion. One from the heart. Tell Hubby to let him have it. Sometimes writing can bring out the TRUTH and reading it, same thing. I encourage that step.

Also, the journal is an excellent idea. What a gift to give a child, even if it is in her teens...or older. And who better than you to tell the story of continued love for her?

My heart goes out to all concerned. Abuse in the home is never funny, or to be taken lightly. Even though the physical aspect of it isn't present, it doesn't mean it won't be in the future when this child grows into her own voice. And she will.

On the bright side, I'm sure she will recognize her mom's illness at some point and that could mean she will take steps to contact you, and see you again.

Hope, pray, and let us hold you up. We're here if you need us.

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#204362 - 06/06/10 12:32 PM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: jawjaw]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4871
Loc: Canada
MA, what a wonderful idea! I'm going to start right away. I love it, because there are so many things I'd like to say to her (about her and how much I love/admire her) but can't say directly to her right now. I think I have a pretty journal hidden away somewhere just waiting for such a loving purpose. Thank you!!!

JJ, hubby won't write a letter. He's still sure that eventually the son will reach out and contact us and we both want to be here for him when that happens. The son has wanted to leave long before now, but knows that if he does, there's a very good chance that he/we would never see the children again (she would most likely take them out of the country).

We're definitely speaking about an abusive environment here, but it's verbal/psychological abuse, very difficult to prove and at this point not severe enough to call in authorities. Just sad, very sad. Like everyone says, someday the children will be free and wise enough to recognize it for what it is and we just want to always be here for them when they need/want to reconnect.

Thank you again, now I'm going to go search for that journal!
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#204366 - 06/06/10 02:17 PM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Eagle Heart]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3025
You are a scribe and wordsmith so I know that journal will be a loving work of art..

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#204372 - 06/06/10 06:49 PM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Mountain Ash]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
I have no idea what to say, Eagle, but that I am sooooo sorry. I feel for you, hubby and for the kids. I hope she eventually understands that she needs some help and will seek it out. Thank you for sharing - I hope you feel a bit better by simply putting it out here.
_________________________
Follow our story of living, loving and laughing with a debilitating disease:

http://www.multiplesystematrophyandshy-drager.blogspot.com

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#204381 - 06/06/10 07:03 PM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Anno]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4871
Loc: Canada
Thanks Anno, I do feel better. It was weighing so heavy on my heart. It's always beneficial to get perspective and wisdom from outside of my own head, which gets too mucked up in the emotional angst of it all. I'm excited about the journal idea and will go out tomorrow to pick a special one up (can't find the one I've got stored away here somewhere).


Edited by Eagle Heart (06/06/10 07:03 PM)
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#204392 - 06/06/10 07:38 PM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: yonuh]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I agree as well, what a wonderful idea. Words between Grandma and granddaughter. Thats something no one will ever be able to take away from her.
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#204403 - 06/07/10 04:30 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: yonuh]
Edelweiss2 Offline


Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 779
Loc: American living in Germany
I agree with chatty.

Have your husband "pave" the way. If this woman is mentally unbalanced, there is no reasoning with her. He should visit her and the children for an afternoon. Maybe he could bring her some flowers. No further words are necessary.

Then, the next visit, join your husband, and simply act like nothing happened. I know, it's a matter of swallowing your own pride, but you win in the end when you get to see your grandchildren again.

I can truly sympathise with you Eagle. Nothing can get my goat like, being treated unjustly and uncalled for. I know it takes a lot of self control to "take" it. Those children need you, if their mother is unbalanced and angry. Take this as your mission, to show the grandchildren there are other way to cope and handle conflicts. Your quiet and calm way will automatically draw them to you.

Sending you a big big hug.
_________________________
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

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#204434 - 06/08/10 09:08 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Edelweiss2]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9520
Loc: New York State
Eagle,
I'm sorry you're going through this garbage. My DIL would not
let me see my granddaughter one time, while she was living in an
apartment complex I owned. She wouldn't let me take the baby shopping or anything. So I know how it hurts. These ladies have
made great suggestions. When I don't know what to do, which seems to be quite often lately, I pray; and I'm sure you do too. I'm goin' through stuff right now in which prayer is my only move! Blessings!
_________________________
Everything loses its flavor without God!
Joyce Meyer Ministries

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#204437 - 06/08/10 09:19 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: jabber]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Eagle, did you get a journal? I hope so because if anyone can paint an emotional and beautiful picture of life, it's you.

Jabber, I'm sorry you are, and have, experienced some of the same. We're here for you as well. Prayers going up in your name.

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#204443 - 06/08/10 12:11 PM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: yonuh]
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
I love MA's journal Idea..you can post in it every night as if you are chatting with her while tucking her into bed...my heart aches for you Sharon..and I feel so sorry that that sweet little girl is missing out on all of your affection right now..but no one can ever take your love away from her...Keeping you in my prayers my friend....


Edited by AvalonBlondi (06/08/10 04:05 PM)
_________________________
Nancy

People may not remember exactly what you said or what you did...but they will always remember how you made them feel

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