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#205214 - 06/29/10 07:40 PM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: chatty lady]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2559
Loc: Alabama
Oh, Chatty...you have my sympathies for sure...I love how you responded to him putting the issue of him not doing anything back on him. You go mom!
I can relate to the cheapness of a child...my case, step-son. But, he'll tell you he's tight-fisted and doesn't apologize for it.
Let us know what he does for your birthday...what would he do if you didn't acknowledge him on his birthday? What goes around comes around.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#205223 - 06/30/10 04:26 AM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: chatty lady]
Edelweiss2 Offline


Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 779
Loc: American living in Germany
Oh Chatty, I would be mad too. And the 70th birthday is a big one. It’s terrible that he forgot it. Something like this could happen with my own sons…that’s why I remind them…weeks ahead!!! Lol. Pride? Who me? No, it’s not a matter of pride, it’s a matter of kicking axx. shocked Sorry…but my sons often get my goat too. You aren’t alone here.

Another thing, in Germany birthday parties are celebrated a bit differently. The birthday person gives the party, and invites everyone out to eat or at their place. That way, no one can forget. In exchange, you get invited to a lot of parties as well. It evens out. So maybe, next time, do it the German way. Invite friends and family over to your party, that way nobody can forget. smile
_________________________
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

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#205230 - 06/30/10 07:09 AM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: Edelweiss2]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Chatty, thank goodness we are at a age that we've finally learned WE DO MATTER and we tell it like it is. He should have acknowledged you big day. It was a big deal, for Pete's sake. I love how you stood your ground.

WE DO MATTER. YOU MATTER!

The thing is, a card would have been nice, and I know you, that would have been the most special card in the world.

Kids...now we know why some eat their young.

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#205262 - 06/30/10 09:38 AM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: jawjaw]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4872
Loc: Canada
Just contributing my two-cents worth of venting...I absolutely detest the way my hubby's son treats him. They live 30 minutes away. We've bought everything and anything for their children (though we're still not allowed to see them right now, nobody is). We've bought expensive snowsuits, bicycles, outfitted the GD with all of her school clothes, give big gift cards (at their request) for all occasions. But he never phones. Never acknowledges his father's birthdays or Father's Day.

In our family, we adored our father. And I would give anything to be able to phone him, cook for him, visit him, celebrate him. So it's incomprehensible how this son can treat his father so miserably...with no excuse. My husband is so generous, paid his son's way all through university, has helped in whatever way ever asked for...all for nothing in return. It really makes me angry.

There, that's my vent. Breathe deep. Now I'll let it go, again.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#205264 - 06/30/10 10:13 AM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: Eagle Heart]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
I believe there comes a time when we all have to stop making excuses for bad behavior. Eagle, it makes me so sad for your hubby. He deserves so much more. And not because of the gifts he so generously gave, but because he did so with a good heart.

I'm right there with you on wanting one more minute with Daddy. The time to tell someone you care is NOW folks.

Eagle, I care. And I care for your hubby as well.

It's just not right. Been there, had it happen to me a few times until I said, "You will respect me. I am your Mother and I've earned that place in your heart. Some day I won't be here, and I just hope you won't live with regrets."

Fortunately for me, it hit home.

I pray that his son's heart opens up before it's too late.

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#205275 - 06/30/10 12:56 PM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: jawjaw]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4872
Loc: Canada
Thanks JJ. While there's no excuse, I suppose we would have to factor in his wife's bullying...everyone in the house is afraid of her, she flies into these terrible tantrums if you just look at her wrong (and you never know from one moment to the next what her definition of "wrong" is). Very verbally abusive to hubby's son. He's been wanting out for a long time, but she always threatens to take the children overseas so he's afraid he'll never see them again. Very, very sad. The whole situation makes me sad - and angry when I think about it, which I try not to as much anymore.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#205296 - 06/30/10 08:43 PM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: Eagle Heart]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I have found that when calling a threateners bluff one usually finds out thats all it is, a bliff Eagle. Son needs to be a man and let her have her comeupins.Your correct however, it is sad.

JJ I would have loved a card even if he made it himself but HE FORGOT that too. All I ever expect on a special day such as my birthday or mothers day is to see his face, is that asking too much?

His birthday is before mine in April so he had already gotten a nice gift from me.

I am waiting to see how long it takes him to make an appearance. He waits too long and I won't answer the door...
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#205301 - 07/01/10 04:23 AM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: chatty lady]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
"everyone in the house is afraid of her"

Eagle do you think she is afraid also when this happens..

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#205303 - 07/01/10 07:08 AM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: Mountain Ash]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
That's a good point, MA. I'm wondering too if she is actually afraid of herself. But you may never know the answer to that.

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#205307 - 07/01/10 07:32 AM Re: Shocked!!! [Re: jawjaw]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
So often if we really listen then the questioner answers their question themselves..often as an afterthought..Eagle perhaps you can think if my point is so..
But nothing can be resolved if the person with the anger does not acknowledge this themself..and take action.

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