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#206074 - 07/24/10 07:18 PM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: jabber]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I was wondering if when a persons kids want to get rid of their parents or are truly doing it for their best interest, if it is mandatory for the oldsters to remain in a home? What if they want to stay in their own place? Can they? If not sounds like going to prison for having done nothing but get old.
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#206085 - 07/25/10 08:31 AM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: chatty lady]
jabber Online   content
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9549
Loc: New York State
It depends if the kids have Power of Attorney and the kids are
nice people. Now WB has POA, but his mom lives alone in her
home and he keeps the place functioning for her. But if a person has mean kids and they have POA or has talked the parent
into giving them POA, those elderly darlin's' don't have a prayer in h__l, of having their wishes heard. They're locked away until they go to be with The Lord. People, if you sign over Power of Attorney to someone, make sure you can trust that person and your choice of POA will listen to your wishes! Some offspring are only in it for your assests! Be alert! Be careful! Please!!! luv, prayers and best wishes! smirk whistle


Edited by jabber (07/25/10 08:34 AM)
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#206603 - 08/08/10 12:28 AM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/11/10
Posts: 2832
Loc: Illinois
JJ, this is a fascinating and thought-provoking discussion you have started. Thanks for that!

I am just getting to know this whole sad story first hand. My mother had hip-replacement surgery as some of you know, back about 8 weeks ago. After her 3 days in the hospital, Medicare sent her on to a nursing home, as she wasn't yet ready to return home.

This was a very nice place, and part of an aging in place facility that she and her husband actually want to move to.

Even so, as I would talk to her daily, I was amazed at the treatment. Oh, nothing that she was complaining about, just stuff like they get put to bed by 9 PM because that is most convenient for the staff.

Or, the stories she told me about things like trading shower days with a friend so that she would be able to have a shower the night before she was going to see the doctor...

I of course, am so used to living life as I want to, taking for granted little things like -- eating when and what I choose, going to bed when I decide it is time, washing my hair when I decide it needs it, calling my kids whenever the desire arises, and watching TV when and where I want to, not to mention choosing the shows I will see -- I can't imagine what it would be like to lose these the opportunity to make these simple choices at will.

As you suggest JJ, I think prisoners get more choices in these matters than do persons in nursing homes.
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#206620 - 08/08/10 10:40 AM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: Anne Holmes]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
The home care an older person gets after hospitisation..seems run by non feeling staff.simply for profit.
My older friend when returning home had a tuck in service for bed..as well as food delivered.The food..she was last being most recently discharged meant just that..last.so 1.30 lunch..when she had waited as instructed from 12.15..
worst ..was the bed time..6.30..and she just went along with this..it meant a very long night..I cannot comprehend going to bed at 6.30pm nor should she have had to..in time she graduated to 8.00pm. More staff ratio could have been a solution.

.she is now in a care home where times are more civilised.her son pays for this and it appears to be good care.
I have high regard for this woman..and as I live at a distance could not help more than visit..but if she had still been next door I know I would have done the tucking up service myself..as it was I just felt so sad..

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#206636 - 08/08/10 11:02 AM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: Mountain Ash]
jabber Online   content
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9549
Loc: New York State
I agree. Some staffers caring for the elderly seem to be cold
and heartless. And it's heartbreaking to watch!
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Everything loses its flavor without God!
Joyce Meyer Ministries

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#206735 - 08/12/10 06:51 AM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: jabber]
dejavu Offline
journeyman

Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 319
I agree that staffing at nursing homes is horribly limited - and it's only going to get worse.

but please don't put a guilt trip on those of us who HAD to put our parents in a nursing home. My mother broke her hip (and she'd already had several strokes) and I simply could NOT care for her at home. I still had three children who were school age, I couldn't lift and turn her, there was no choice. We visited her every day but there was so little we could do. Six years later, I still cry when I remember.

Carolyn
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#206763 - 08/12/10 09:42 PM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: dejavu]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/11/10
Posts: 2832
Loc: Illinois
Been reading a great book by Laurel Kennedy called "The Daughter Trap: Taking Care of Mom and Dad...and You."

I will be writing my review on it this evening and the link will be in the Monthly as well as posted online ASAP...

I highly recommend this book. With almost 80% of us working outside the home these days, we who have to juggle family, careers and eldercare responsibilities need places to turn to for help. She's got concrete and actionable solutions with takeaway lessons we can actually apply in real life.

Great book!
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#206767 - 08/13/10 07:49 AM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: Anne Holmes]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I look forward to the review. I remember Laurel. I love the title she chose. It's perfect! The title alone should sell books.
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#206889 - 08/16/10 01:59 PM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: Dotsie]
jabber Online   content
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9549
Loc: New York State
dejavu,
Not trying to put a guilt trip on anyone. Every few days I
visit the nursing home, but the situation I'm involved in is
very unique and totally outside the norm. If I sound like I'm
blaming anyone, that is not the intent. I apologize if that's
how it sounds.
_________________________
Everything loses its flavor without God!
Joyce Meyer Ministries

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#206907 - 08/17/10 08:34 AM Re: Let's put the seniors in jail [Re: jabber]
jabber Online   content
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9549
Loc: New York State
I know people work. And I know people need to provide care for
their seniors. I've seen many of these nursing home care-givers
who are wonderful people. They're bighearted and truly try to do a good job. It's the exceptions to the rule, which make outsiders shutter a mite.


Edited by jabber (08/21/10 09:45 AM)
_________________________
Everything loses its flavor without God!
Joyce Meyer Ministries

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