My name is Chris, and i have a friend that i am concerned about. He lives at home with his mother. His mother has some issues and they directly affect my friend. THe first issue is the house in which they live. THe mother clutters the house with new clothand items which she never intends to use, there are dirty clothes everywhere, and in most rooms there are only small trails to get from one place to another. Furthermore, she has over 20 cats, all of which are allowed into the house at one time or another. THe house is riddled with cat poop. There is trash on the floor, food on the floor, and newspapers all around the house. HTe backyard is no exception to this, their pool hasnt been cleaned in over 5 years, yet the mother refills the pool, there are bugs and algy growing int he pool. THere is trash throughout the entire backyard as well. I have only listed a few things concerning this first issue. to sum it up the mother fills the household with junk, trash, and leaves cat poop and food everywhere. any attempt by my friend to clean is futile, for the mother will soon thereafter dirty areas that he cleans.
THe second issue is her attitude, she is extremly paranoid. She put items such as old washers and dryers in front of door ways to keep "theives" out of the house. She is constantly worried that someone will break into their house. She parks her cars in the front of the house in a manner which she described to me as an attempt to make it more difficult for thieves to get stuff out of the house.
THe third issue is her mood. She often can go from being very calm to getting very excited. She will get super upset at some of the smallest of problems. One time she gave her son the keys to her car to get something out of it, he took them with us to get a coffee. When i got back into my car from the coffe place she had left me 3 messages telling me how important it was for her to have those keys right now. Another example of her moods was when she got locked out of the house. she called her son and told him she was locked out( he was with me). He offered to come home (only a five minute drive from where we were) but she refused and slept in her car overnight instead.
I could go on forever about this, I know something is seriously wrong with this picture, and she is so sttubborn that no one can talk to her.

Does anyone have any idea what might be wrong with her?

Does anyone know of anything I can do to help my friend?

hippo, we are happy to help if we can. Nothing in your post makes me think you are a man, but your screen name makes me wonder.

How old is your friend? That's important to learn so we can make suggestions about how to help. Hs mother's bahavior leads me to believe she is paranoid. The pet mess may be able to be addressed by the Department of Health. Before I say anthing else, I'd like to know your friend's age.

Well, I am a male, sorry if I led you you to wonder about my gender or sexuality. The screen name is one I use on all the forums I join so its easy for me to remember what my name and sign on password are.

My friend is a 18, but he has another year of highschool, his name is derrek(dont really know why i felt it important to leave his name out in the first place). I am 24. I used to be best friends with his older brother, and I look at derrek as a younger brother, because I have known him since I 9 years old.

Derrek is rather upset with the situation, wnats to leave, although he doesnt tell me why what is keeping him there rather then moving out with his father, I can guess that it has something to do with his concern for his mother. She has been talking about having a heart prolem for the last 5 year or so and that she could havea heart attack at any moment.

Hi Hippoman, I'm a clinical psychologist and really can't diagnose people second hand. But your friend's mother could possibly have some serious mental illnesses ("pack rat syndrome" and paranoid personality disorder come to mind). Both these conditions, even when properly diagnosed, are very difficult to treat. Most sufferers don't come in on their own. They are usually brought in by family members and resist getting help. I would suggest you help your friend check out school or community resources to get some counseling for himself. I'm sure you're right that he feels responsible for his mother, especially after his father left her. Hope this helps. Karen