Sometimes coming face to face with our terrors and the fear that others will "find out" what happened can work to soothe or erase those terrors.

Once we know that others aren't judging us and sympathize with our pain then the true healing can begin.

I think that's what happened with your husband Norma. My former neighbor was sexually abused as a toddler by a step grandfather. She is constantly battling depression but has overcome the fact that it was not her fault. So often sexual abuse victims feel as if they are to blame for this happening to them. Of course they aren't.

Yepthatsme2, when I woke up around 3:00 a.m. I thought of you. The way I get back to sleep is to visualize my cat Benny's face. It works for me nearly all the time. I think it's hard to "turn off your mind" once you wake up in the middle of the night. Menopause plays tricks on our brain and magnifies the smallest problem until it has us going bonkers! I find myself worrying over stuff that never would've bothered me when I was younger. I have no doubt it's why many of us do need antidepressants. As we age we've got to deal with all sorts of new problems and when we combine them with menopause and a lack of a truly goodnight's sleep I think we have a recipe for depression. We're not going crazy, it's our brains way of dealing with all the turmoil around us.

Did you know that when you take an antidepressant your brain creates more chemicals to fight the antidepressant? That's why it make take longer to work or create more side effects.

Just know what works for you and don't be afraid to question your doctor and tell him if the pill he has prescribed isn't working or some of the side effects it's creating. He'll never know unless you tell him.

Well, you should have called Ladybug, I was up at 3:15 a.m. this morning, discovered my daughter wasn't awake yet. She works at Starbuck's... early shift this week.

My second day of Zoloft, brought several side effects, upon arising this morning my blood pressure was 160/92, pulse 93...normally it's 115/64. Seemed like I hit the bathroom, ever hour on the hour.
Stiff neck, fuzzy eyesight, and throwing up. Last night I was so agitated and nervous. Not sure I will continue, if the blood pressure continues to rise.

Tried to call the doctor but, it takes him 3 days to return a call. After being on hold, for 30 minutes this morning I just hung up.
This is the reason, I really would like to have a mental health doctor prescribe my medicine.

I was in therapy for several years back, and we hashed over all the events mentioned. Even took Prozac at that time no problem.
But, then again I didn't have high blood pressure then.
Maybe, it's just menopause.

Of course right now there is so much stress in this house. Most of it coming from my 20 year old daughter.
She has found the "only man in the world that understands her",... again!
Quit her job a couple of weeks ago, just so she could keep a eye on who comes and goes when he is at work. He's a tattoo artist and she now has 2 more tattoo's and a belly ring.
She thought she would be able to get money from her dad and I for her gas and such. Borrowed 100.00 with the promise to pay it back on payday. We didn't see her for a week after payday,and by then she had spent the whole check.
Has since gone back to work.
We then started filling her tank with gas, (for work we assumed) to find she was only running it out going to Springfield 40 miles away where he lives. By the way he does not own a car, and works here in town.
She did this very same thing about 4 months ago. He was another..."only one who understands me". Just so happens he had 3 other girlfriends, he was juggling.

She was home 2 weeks ago, needed to go to the emergency room said her period had started again and she felt real stressed out. Didn't want her dad or I to go with her.
She told me it was all because... of my being sick. Tended to think that might be true for awhile until I saw my therapist. She said if she was so concerned she will more than likely be home with me, but since she isn't...that's probably not the case.
Her medical runs out on her birthday Dec. 26. Hasn't been at Starbuck's long enough to have medical. That really worries me.

Most of all my other kids went thru this when they were 15-16 years old. Not nearly 21. Know she wants to be more independent, but this is not the way to go. Someone told me last week, she had actually run out of gas on I95, and they went to give her money, to put gas in the car. By the time they got there the car was being towed.
So, we have decided to put the car in her name and make her get insurance for herself.

Would it be so wrong for her to just listen? She's headed in the wrong direction...I feel so helpless right now to help her.
Caught her dad crying last night, I know he's not alone...Ive shed my own.

So what comes in the mail this week? A credit card in her name. She just happened to be here and collected the mail.

Sorry for the long winded vent.

I know worry doesn't help one thing...so why do I still do it???

Ladybug, don't you just love the way we think of our boomer sisters at all hours of the day and night?

Chick, keep taking those baths right before you get under the covers. It's awesome. Especially now that the cold weather is here. Sorry, I don't recall the name of the sleeping pill, but the anti-depressant I was taking was Serzone. I've never heard of another soul taking it but it worked miracles in my life within a few days of taking it!

Norma, my mother and MIL both took antidepressants for years. My husband is a doctor and he said I'd be amazed at the number of people taking them at midlife. I'm hoping more boomers can learn other ways to cope.

Now don't get me wrong. I know they have their place, but just like other meds, I think they are over prescribed.

Yep, oh the trial and tribulations of raising teens! My thoughts and prayers are with you girlfriend. You may want to post about this in the Children's forum. Perhaps someone will have some advice for you and your daughter. Some of us recall being that rebellious teen and may be able to shed some light on the subject.

Also Yep. I don't think the Zoloft makes you vomit. You might have something else going on there.

I had to just stop helping my daughter. She needs to learn how to struggle just like the rest of us do or did. Seems that's the only way they learn.

If, they could only see the help for what it truly is....love.
But, your so right, they do end up struggling.

It's so hard to watch. My eldest daughter said to me, "if they didn't live at home, you wouldn't know their business and worry so much".

I'd worry anyway.

Yes, Dotsie, I do care about these ladies. It amazes me how much we have in common and how we feel the same about so many things.

I haven't slept for more than 4 or 5 hours straight for about 10 years...I really think it has to do with Menopause...at first I used to feel frustrated and so angry that the world was sleeping and I was staring up at the same 3 nailpops on my ceiling..but one night I tiptoed downstairs and cuddled up on the sofa with my puppies and thumbed thru a magazine or two..next thing I knew I was waking up to the sunshine streaming thru the window...now I almost look forward to my quiet time with my pets in the dark and have accepted the fact that my body must only need this amount of sleep...I never really feel "tired"..although sometimes after dinner if I sit down to watch the news with my Hubby I nod off for 10 or 20 minutes...

Dotsie.......The medication you were on was taken off the market. I'm not sure if you are spellng it correctly, and I can't remember how to spell it. I was taking it, and when I went in for one of my many surgeries when the anesthetic took hold, I went into a Vasal Vagel attack, my blood pressure hit the floor, and I stopped breathing. I woke up hearing the doc saying he wasn't operating, and to get me to recovery.
Went in the next time, the doc looked at my records and saw what had happened before with the anesthesia. He noted that I was on that medication, and he asked if I was still taking it. I told him I was. He told me that I should have been told that I wasn't to take it for two weeks before the surgery. I found out why. It seems the anesthesioligist from the other surgery was so worried about not getting any lunch.(That's what he told me)That he failed to read my records to see that I was on that medication. Everyone told me to sue him, but what for. I just wrote a letter to him, the hospital, and the AMA. That works a lot better!!!!!
They found it caused many heart problems with the people who took it over a certain period of time. Thank God, I'd only been on it a few months. Was no problem to wean off of it. So......if any of you out there are on this medication, talk to your doc. You shouldn't be using it!!!!!!!!!! Don't stop taking it without talking to your doc. You have to wean off of it.
I'm also not needing the hours of sleep that I've needed since now going thru menopause. I get about five hours a nite. Used to sleep up to eight. Don't seem to need any more sleep. I remember my Grandmother telling me when you get older you don't sleep as much. She was right!!
Lynne

Lynne, what an experience and thank you for sharing it so others will have a heads up on it.
I am down to 1/2 of my TRAZODONE and already I feel better. I am weaning them out of my system completely. I am just going to beat myself out, like Smiles said and have that bath closer to bedtime, like Dotsie said. I was bathing too early.
I went job hunting and got full time at a Grocery store that is less than a minute by car, practically in my backyard. I start out as Bread Manager and will be promoted to customer service(My fav)in a few weeks. The store is brand new and the Grand opening is on the 14th(approx). I start next thursday.
I am going to TRY to beat this no sleep thing without drugs.
chick

Wow, congratulations on your new job Chickadee!!

All these positive improvements to your life are going to be making you feel like a sparkling star!

You are proof of what a positive attitude can do for a person. That is, to improve your life without expecting someone else to do it for you.