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#33900 - 01/03/06 03:38 AM Re: Depression at Christmas
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Does sound quite promising however Karen. Better not to get our hopes up and just take things as they come, one event at a time....I find that mindset better all the way around in life in general.

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#33901 - 01/04/06 03:30 AM Re: Depression at Christmas
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Susiq,
You are the first person I have ever heard who understands that issue and how destructive it can be.

My daughter's mother in law has done that to her children and now she is doing it to our grandchildren. It makes me crazy, but it is impossible to talk to her about it.

She insists those 'pie in the sky' expectations are 'possible' and certainly anything is possible, but stardom is the result of years of effort and a lot of luck. I think it is cruel to plant those expectations in a child. And it sets them up for failure from the first.

I generally try not attempt to change people, but it breaks my heart to see how this woman has damaged her children and is now doing the same thing to our grandchildren. Otherwise, she is a nice person. I just wish I could convince her to stop destroying her children and our grandchildren?

Do you or anyone else have any ideas how I might talk to this woman about this? I have tried being direct, but she just implies that I am a negative person and don't believe in our grandchildren's potential. I was beginning to believe her.

smile

[ January 03, 2006, 07:31 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

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#33902 - 01/04/06 11:03 PM Re: Depression at Christmas
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Suzie,
Maybe that's it. The woman I spoke of seems disappointed in the achievements in her own life. Maybe her parents did that over expectations thing to her. I wonder.

Either way, I feel I should try to stop what seems destrucive to our grandchildren, but I simply cannot think of a way. My daughter sees the problem, but is helpless also. Sometimes my son in law tries so bring the kids back to reality and winds up talking them out of even trying.
I've tried to use the approach of success being in the trying, but when someone is out there setting them up with almost impossible aspirations, it's hard.

I just don't know how to handle this.
smile

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