swimmette, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I see you started all this several months ago so I pray you are coping and keeping yourself healthy.

You are not alone. A couple of years ago, I walked through this with a friend. She was already dealing with her own issues including Multiple personality disorder, Post traumatic stress relating to childhood sexual abuse, Diabetes and Bulemia.

About the time she came out of 6 weeks of treatment out of state, his first manic episode was coming into full swing. He drove her over the edge again. She was trying to escape him and get to another out of state facility when he got her sister to bring her back to him at a local hospital. He admitted her to the psych unit and abandoned her there for 5 days. Her luggage was still on the airplane they took her off of so I bought new clothes and brought them to her.

After the 5 days, he picked her up and took her to their daughters in another city. By that time, they had arranged to trick him to the ER and had HIM admitted.

She lost reality completely and had no place to go because none of this was in the same city as her therapist. I brought her home with me where she stayed for 4 months.

That allowed his sister and their daughters to begin to deal with him. He was hospitalized twice, went through the hearing and all like you are with your dh. He remains on his meds and is just a notch slower than normal.

Now his doc is trying to reduce his meds and she is scared to death that he might become manic again. She is still seeing her therapist 3 times a week.

It is so, so sad, and so frustrating for everyone who loves them. They are both beautiful souls, but so messed up.

One of the most frustrating things those of us trying to help them dealt with was the privacy law. Both of them were in treatment but no one could really coordinate their care because no one was allowed to talk to anyone else about their treatment and care.

I dealt with issues that worried me by faxing letters to her therapist and he would deal with my concerns in sessions with her. She was in flashback therapy and would be in her other personalities when I picked her up and I would basically continue her sessions for an hour or several hours at home.

I can sympathize with what you are going through. It is so very difficult to keep yourself healthy and separated from the illness when you live with it. I pray for you and wish you peace and better times in the future.

flipperjo

flipperjo, you are a remarkable friend. How is your friend today?

Also sent swimmette a private message telling her we were thinking of, and praying for her.

It seems anyone thats suffered sexual abuse as a child whether a man or woman, has issues haunting them all of their lives, causing problem after problem and that is inexcusable and so frustrating. I see it again and again here and everywhere around us.

Dotsie, it is hard to say how she is - her mental illness is so pervasive in her life. I still have conversations with what I know to be her "others", but I no longer acknowledge "them" while we speak. I have mixed feelings about the whole MPD diagnosis. She is on a huge cocktail of 'anti-just about everything' drugs.

Her daughter recently had a baby. Shortly before the birth, she told my friend that she could only be around the baby as herself - her "others" were not to be present around the baby. My friend was upset by this, but she has put so many limitations on her own mother's participation in her life, it was kind of a case of 'full circle'.

She is functioning quite well, still in flashback therapy 3 times a week. I can always tell when she is still in the flashback after having her here for those months.

It can be really freaky having conversations with multiple persons all coming out of the same mouth. Each one has distinct facial expressions, handwriting and mannerisms. One of "them" actually stole my car once. "They" returned to her own home once and had a tea party (table was set for at least 4) before returning to me and several of "them" telling me about it.

This all took a lot of concentration and energy to deal with. There were nights I had to curl up with her, holding her in my arms like a child, to get her to sleep. The child in her was afraid of her dead father finding her.

My dh and sons were angels through it all. This all happened right at the beginning of harvest, so I was unable to run the machines as much as I would have normally. There were several times I HAD to swath or combine and had to take her with me like a child because I couldn't leave her alone.

Once when I told my cousin, a retired mental health professional, that it often seemed as though she wanted to just crawl under my skin and be me. He said, "No, it is your womb she wants to be in." That kind of scared me and creeped me out for a while.

I look back and still can't see an alternative for her at the time. As a result, she and I have a depth to our friendship that happens rarely in a person's lifetime. She has a heart of gold beneath all the layers of illness. My deepest wish for her is to be able to put it all behind her and live in the day but realistically, I just don't see that happening.

Chatty, I would dearly love to personally strangle all those who caused this brutal hell that she lives in!

flipperjo and chatty, don't you wonder why some people have to suffer so much? I do.

Going to therapy three times a week is exhausting in itself. Again, she is so lucky ot have a dedicated friend like you.