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#43108 - 10/23/05 11:37 PM Re: The Ex
beth1119 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/05
Posts: 35
Loc: Southeast
Thanks, Dreamer. I think so, too. [Smile] I'm still on "no contact" and I'm doing fine. It's been over a week since I've talked to him. I've been busy with other parts of my life; I've been trying to help a friend of mine (that's a whole other post right there - I thought MY life was a mess!) so I haven't been thinking about it very much. I am going to be fine. [Smile]

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#43109 - 10/24/05 12:35 AM Re: The Ex
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Beth, staying busy is a great way to get someone "out of your system"...You ARE going to be fine, and better than fine, eventually.
Peace.

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#43110 - 10/24/05 12:52 AM Re: The Ex
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Beth1119, Its rough at first but believe me it does get easier and easier and then one day you'll realize; hey, I've moved on and am doing just fine and dandy. Bravo for your wonderful start...

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#43111 - 10/24/05 12:54 AM Re: The Ex
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Beth, I'm proud of you! Keep up the good work. And send your friend here if you want! [Wink]

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#43112 - 10/24/05 01:35 AM Re: The Ex
beth1119 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/05
Posts: 35
Loc: Southeast
Thank you so much, Bluebird, Chatty, and Dotsie. The encouragement I'm getting from you guys - I swear, it has made such a difference! And today, when I was talking to my friend, I passed along some of the wisdom I've received here from everyone - you know, the advice I've received from everyone can apply to just about ANY situation - and I could tell that it helped her to feel better. I can't do much about her situation, but I can do that for her and it made me feel better, too.

Dotsie, I would LOVE to send her here because she needs this site very much, but it's impossible right now because she doesn't even have a computer. I'm thinking about adding a post, though, just to ask for prayers for her because her situation is really bad.

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#43113 - 10/24/05 01:43 AM Re: The Ex
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
We're all players in the game of life - it's nice to be on THIS team. [Smile]
You don't even have to ask for the prayers...as soon as you posted, the prayers started going up, I guarantee it...

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#43114 - 10/24/05 01:43 AM Re: The Ex
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Add one so we can all pray for her too and hopefully help whatever situation she is in. You are a good friend to her Beth and the good we do comes back to us ten fold....

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#43115 - 10/24/05 01:59 AM Re: The Ex
beth1119 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/05
Posts: 35
Loc: Southeast
I put up the post. I tried to explain it the best I could, but it would take pages to tell the whole story. I need prayers, too, because I'm feeling like I'm the only person she has to talk to right now, and it's overwhelming. Thanks so much for listening! [Smile]

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#43116 - 10/25/05 11:31 AM Re: The Ex
Junebug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/24/05
Posts: 171
Loc: 10 yrs in OH now, 47 yrs in Tx
Beth,
You get many more wrinkles by frowning than with smiles. Being happy or sad is actually a choice. He made bad choice and through God, You can make good choices!
Let it all go, if you cannot forgive, how can you be forgiven. It may take you getting stronger first though. That is what I kept telling myself when I divorced after 15 yrs from a man who cheated, physically and mentally abused me and my oldest son. I hated him! I had to finally, after time, keep this in mind and forgive him through God, and then, I felt sorry for him. Three years ago he shot himself, and I had my three grown sons to deal with. Each with a different and not very good relationship with him. I was so glad I had forgiven him, finally. After five years of divorcee, I found the most wonderful man and we married a year later. We have been married 20 wonderful years. Timing! It was finally right for me! He is totally different to my EX, and most of the men I have ever known, even friends. Hang in there! Sounds like you are on the way UP! [Wink] And, you deserve it!

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#43117 - 10/26/05 05:10 AM Re: The Ex
beth1119 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/05
Posts: 35
Loc: Southeast
Hi Junebug! I'm so sorry about the experience you had to go through with your ex. I'm sure the fact that you had forgiven the ex helped you be there for your children and helped them heal. Sounds like you've come a long way, and I am so happy for you! [Smile]

I decided to call my ex this morning, and after exchanging small talk for a few minutes I just told him that there would be no more "dates" between him and me, that he had made his choices and that I wasn't going to play second to this woman ANY MORE. I was nice about it, I just said that I was at a point in my life where I needed to make some changes, and letting go of him was one of the changes I felt I had to make. At first he accused me of having met someone else, but I made it clear that the reason had everything to do with me and being happy with myself. It turned out to be a very nice conversation with no angry words or anything, and I felt good about it afterward.

Closure! Finally! [Smile]

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