You can tell its going to be a rotten day when:

you wake up face down on the pavement

you put your bra on backward and it fits better (my personal favorite )

you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold

you see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office

your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles

you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there arent any

you turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city

your twin sister forgets your birthday

your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hells Angels down the freeway

your boss tells you not to bother to take off your hat

the bird singing outside your window is a buzzard

you wake up and your braces are locked together

you walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose

you call your answering service and they tell you its none of your business

your blind date turns out to be your ex

your income tax check bounces

you put both contact lenses in the same eye

your pet rock snaps at you

your hubby says "good morning Jane" and your name is Sally

author unknown -- but troubled