A friend sent these to me. Thought they were pretty right-on.

You KNOW you're in California when . . . .

Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the United States.

Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am in Starbucks wearing the baseball cap & sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal???!!!

Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station "Storm Watch 2003."

You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

It's barely raining outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather related accidents.

Both you AND your dog have therapists.

The Terminator is now your governor.

This are soooo funny!

Oh boy, and it's all coming east!

For all you writers in here:

This post remeinded me of something fun to work on and submit to local publications. Write one for our own city/state. I can think of some funny one for Baltimore hon!

Hey Queenie, betyou could do one for Alabama and have everyone in town howling! Just a thought.

honey you are sooo right...I mean where else do you know of that people park in the driveway, and drive on the parkway....

I mean where else do you know of that young women are taught to hate at an early age. Yes ma'am...they are taught to hate

1) Bad Hair
2) Bad Blind Dates
3) Bad Manners

and not in that order...

Okay JJ, I say you write something similar about how you know you're a southern girl, ow with a southern girl. Take it with your new and improved fabulous Atkins body to your reunion and be the ""star"" when you read it to the class.

smile

hey I just might do that since I MC part of the beginning speeches..hmmm...but I had almost forgotten about the reunion thing! eeek! I have only lost 6 lbs and seem to be stalled. Where's my Dreamrkate! Help girl...am I doing something wrong?

Oh yeah and for the rest of you...you are finding me a date for this reunion, am I right? He must be around my age or old, knee-slapping goreous, intelligent OR can't speak...either one, and can act like I am the best thing since sliced bread...

well?

When's the reunion? How can we get you a date when we don't even know the date of the reunion? Come on, help us out here girl!

Good point...the reunion is June 18-20...you have until the month before to find Mr. Right and just make sure he understands he is to slobber all over me and not flirt with the other women, capice?

Problem Solved!!!

I have the perfect date for you.

My neighor's labrador retriever. He's a knee-slapping gorgeous. Long flowing blonde hair just like Fabio. He's intelligent. He can't speak and thinks all humans are the best thing since sliced bread (of course he might eat the bread if it's left out where he can get to it)

He'll definitely slobber all over you and not flirt with other women (unless they happen to be carrying a raw t-bone in their purse).

Yep. Problem solved. He's well trained and will obey your every command. Just the right escort for a queen.

smile

[ January 22, 2004, 01:07 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

uh...does he have a tux?