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#44980 - 03/14/04 01:49 AM
Re: couple weeks
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Writer
Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
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In answer to your call for HUMOR, I have decided to offer these two Rhymes I wrote for The Washington Times newspapers lunchroom when the items covered became a problem..... RESPECT THE WORKPLACE..... Micro wave gadget, makes micro wave magic, A potato bakes in three. Yet micro wave gadget with all of it's magic, is not self cleaning you see. So if you use it, please don't abuse it, clean up the drips inside. Because if you forget to, the dirt fairy will get you and she's going to tan your hide. OFFICE ICE ETTIQUETTE.... This makes twice, I've needed some ice...and found all the ice trays bare. If your the "ice mouse" remember this isn't your house, it's our office a place we all share. Lets start fresh from today, if you use, fill the tray, even if you just take a few pieces. But if you must be a louse mouse, we're not going to grouse, there are better ways to deal with bad mieces.
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#44981 - 03/15/04 04:49 PM
Re: couple weeks
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Member
Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 416
Loc: Alexandria, VA
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I am going to tape it to the microwave. We definitely have some gross people at the office.
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#44982 - 03/15/04 10:52 PM
Re: couple weeks
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Member
Registered: 01/01/04
Posts: 678
Loc: Tazewell County, VA, USA
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A man was returning home a day early from his business trip because he'd suspected his wife was having an affair. It was after midnight when he caught a cab at the airport. While in route to his home, he asked the driver if he'd go into his home with him for $100., as he suspected his wife was having an affair and if he caught her with another man, he'd need a witness. For $100, the cabby agreed.
The husband & cabby tiptoed into the bedroom and sure enough his wife was with another man. The husband put a gun to the man's head.
The wife shouted, "Don't, Edward, this man has been too generous! I didn't inherit any money as I said I did - he paid for the new Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our home at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"
Shaking his head, the husband lowered the gun & asked the cab driver, "What would you do?"
The cabby said, "I'd cover him up with that blanket before he catches a cold."
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#44986 - 03/16/04 03:44 AM
Re: couple weeks
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Member
Registered: 01/01/04
Posts: 678
Loc: Tazewell County, VA, USA
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Someone sent me some doctor stories...this one made me laugh -
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener." --won't admit his name
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#44991 - 03/18/04 07:41 PM
Re: couple weeks
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Member
Registered: 11/01/03
Posts: 1076
Loc: Ohio, USA
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ROFLOL!! Good to see you back! I give it two thumbs up and one cracked rib as a bonus. LOL!!
Donna
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#44992 - 03/18/04 09:36 PM
Re: couple weeks
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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Queen, good to see you're back at it! Hard to picture a queen in a hummer. But you're no ordinary queen! Thistle, smart cabby,huh? Chatty, unfortunately I don't have a young,handsome dentist!
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#44993 - 03/25/04 12:04 AM
Re: couple weeks
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Writer
Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
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THANK GOD FOR ITALIAN MEN...... On a recent transalantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm..The turbelance is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stnds up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable. Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone seems to have forgotten their own peril. They all stared, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then an ITALIAN man stands up in the center of the plane. He is gorgeous, tall, well built, with dark curly hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves... He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest. She gasps... He whispers; Iron this, and get me something to eat, pronto....!!
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#44994 - 03/26/04 01:50 AM
Re: couple weeks
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Writer
Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
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Dotsie, or anyone with this knowledge; If I get a really funny email with pictures, how would I send it to this site as a joke under; Laughter, The Best Medicine. OR is it even possible. I await your reply and thanks. Boy do I ever have to take a computer course, so dumb, eek's.
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#44998 - 03/26/04 06:29 AM
Re: couple weeks
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Member
Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 416
Loc: Alexandria, VA
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chatty, very funny joke about the airplane. For a moment I thought we were going to get a peak at some of the writing you do.
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