I'm sure we have all been there...getting the presents that are nothing you'd ever want, use, need or anything. A once-in-a-while bad gift you just overlook, but what if it's a yearly event? How do you tactfully tell the person to change their gift giving style? For instance, my sister always sends me a food basket with those beef sticks, cheeses and fruitcase. Ugh! They either go in trash or I donate to shelter. Another friend has given me LARGE stuffed animals every year..very expensive ones. I have no room in a small apartment and the $100 she spends I sure could use on groceries. My mom always gets me coffee table books...expensive ones again. But I have no coffee table and again, being out of work for 2 years, I sure could use something else.

How do I get off this train? It pains me that these people spend time and money for gifts that I have no use for and give away. And if they do want to give me something, well, there are many other things I can use being as broke as I am right now. My other sister says that mentioning to them is tacky and I should be grateful I get anything. But I just can't let this go on.

Has anyone had the same problem? What have you done? Help..I want to start this early for next year!

Sticky situation but if these people love you truly, then your needs and your feeling should mean more to them than some silly gift, no matter what it costs. I ended the same gift receiving nightmare by taking each person aside and saying, "can I be honest here? You know how much you mean to me and I'm sure I mean that much to you too, so I feel comfortable speaking honelstly here, As you know I'm out of work and things are rough right now and there are so many things I could really use, like??" dah, dah, dah, da da...Give examples. It's worth a try and worked well in my case. I also ask what they want from me.

If they ask how you liked your gift, don't lie. Say "you know I don't eat those foods, so I gave it to a shelter." "I thought it should go to a good home where it would be loved, so I gave it to a childrens' home."

I have several friends that buy gifts that they like, not what my taste is at all.

From whole other point of view, I am a frantic gift buyer, but I've given up on trying to give what folks really want. For years I spent tons of money and hours shopping for some remote item that someone had hinted they wanted, but would be surprised to get. Or else, I bought practical gifts that no one really wanted and I felt no joy in buying, but did so because they were needed. As a result I never really pleased anyone especially myself.
Last year, I prayed about it. I read how people in Bible times wanted a King. They wanted him riding a white charger wearing a crown. I'm pretty sure no one prayed for a baby born in a stable to be sacrificed. But that baby turned out to be the greatest gift of all time.
The wisemen brought gold, incense and myrrh to celebrate the birth. Gold might be good for teething, but what baby would ever want embalming scents? And yet, the scents became an important part of Christ's ministry. I realized that giving and receiving are not about the gift at all, but about the love.
Anyway I've closed the catalogue department and I don't attempt to meet practical needs. Now I buy gifts that I want people to have, gifts that bring me joy and that I love seeing loved ones unwrap.
It is returning the joy of gift-giving to us all.
smile

Elsielc,sorry for your unwanted/unneeded gift receiving.Here's my take on your situation.
I really don't see how hurting someones feelings is a good solution.If someone told me they didn't want or like a gift I gave them, I would feel hurt and think they were wrong for saying so.
Look at it this way...the people who love you are selecting a gift that they think you would like.Suck it up for this year.
Maybe next year, you could start early and say "Hey (giftgiver),what do you want for Christmas this year? I want you to give me (insert gift ideas here).
Tacky???perhaps but not as tacky as hurting someones feelings.
Do you give these people gifts? If you are broke, then I suggest you tell them you can't afford to buy for them that year, maybe next year. A card will do.
Donating to a worthy cause is an admirable thing to do with unwanted gifts. Can you imagine the look on the faces of those gift receivers. Puts a whole new spin on things doesn't it.
Thanks for your very fine wine post. I enjoy giving my 2 cents worth even more,when it is requested.

Have a great 2005!

chickadee

[ December 28, 2004, 01:53 PM: Message edited by: chickadee ]

smilinize, as a writer of devotionals, I really loved your post - it could be a devotional!

If you start in November of 2005 saying, "What can I get YOU, taking into consideration my limited budget?" then perhaps those you query will pick up the hint, and ask you what you would like. If they don't? Well, there's really not much you can do about it. A gift's a gift that you can re-gift. Donate the food items. Perhaps you can take those big stuffed animals to a shelter or to a hospital for the children. Just my two cents!