He was only being a man...

Need I say more?

Just read all the posts again and:

I REST MY CASE!!!

She finally realized when she discovered the two of them were taking off from their jobs at the same time for a vacation. She suspected before that. I had to even go see a counselor over this, I was so upset, the other woman being related to me. The counselor said, it isn't your place to tell the wife. My husband said the same thing. So, I just stood back and waited for the wheels to fall off this mess and they did. It got REAL ugly.

Just a few days ago, the creep called my house, trying to find my relative and didn't know where she was. Didn't leave a message but his number was on my caller ID. So, I called the wife and told her he was trying to contact this gal through me and this time, I wasn't going to be quiet about it. She says they are now divorced but he's still living in the house and how much she hates this female relative of mine and I've already heard all of that before but I listened. Don't even think about blaming that jerk she's married to, right? So, she calls me back and the jerk is there, she puts me on the speaker phone and it got nasty. What a liar he is. You wouldn't believe the tale he made up and I just laughed. Whatever. Told him he better lose my phone number and never, ever call it again or I'd take a restraining order out against him. I hate confrontations like this. He said my relative had called him a month ago and he was just returning her call, although she hadn't left a message. I mean, stupid stuff. I told him nobody had called him from my phone and if they had, I would know because I go over my bill every month and his number would have jumped out at me. You know, I think his ex wife really wanted to believe him. Isn't that sad? Whatever. Let the two of them do whatever it is they do but I don't want my family drug into it anymore.

A stimulating topic Dianne...thank you for posting it and jolting my memory.

I spoke at a women's conference several years ago on "Perception...people seeing the same situation differently.

There are times in our lives when we give or seek opinions. We say " If it was me, this is what I would do or say." Advice or opinions are usually given in a genuine, sincere manner.This is a part of life... who we are and what we do. We are contributing to change in an ever changing world.

We however can have a "change of heart" when it is us or God forbid our children (family, etc.) in the same/similar situation.

Your post asked " When is it right to tell and when is it right to be quiet? "

Is there a right or wrong? We do what we feel is right at the time, based on our information. We (people in general) should not grieve over past decisions. We can only pray to God that we learn something valuable from them.

If you had it to do it over again...?( your relative)

If your friend had to do it over again...?(telling you)

If it happened to you again...? (adultry)

Would all answers be the same in this different time and place?

If it was me?... I know what I think you
should do... but, "I" would have to be "you" in the exact situation before I'd know what I really would do.

If a son-in-law was committing adultry...? Ladies?

Oh this ever changing world...

just my opinion

doesn't matter if you tell or don't tell...you are still gonna be the bad guy in all this.

Sandra, the voice of experience standing in a very long line with the rest of you.

Geesh, are there any of us who haven't been cheated on?

Well, does it count if its with dirty book pictures of very youthful girls in school type uniforms, pigtails etc. with their private parts
exposed for all the world to see? If so, then yes I have too. Real broads or picture book cheating starts in the mind anyway and travels to his p-n-s or when that doesn't function (forever limp) then it stays in the mind. Forever limp, hummm, isn't that a song by Rod Stewart?? chuckle...

Since we're talking about what we would or wouldn't do, I want to say that if I told my friend that I knew her husband was cheating on her, and she got mad at me for it -- I'd rather not be friends with someone like that, who wasn't interested in knowing the truth. I prefer friends who are _seekers_ after truth.

My husband cheated on me and I didn't find out until after he said he wanted a divorce. He also tried to cheat me out of my half of our property. If I could've found ANYONE who knew that he'd cheated on me, it would've made my divorce a lot easier for me. As it was, I had to deal with his ridiculous demands. Yeah, I got the house in the end, but had to fight for what was legally mine to begin with.

I'm a golden rule person when it comes to these issues, but sometimes we have to wonder if harm will come from our intent to do good.

Eg., you know something about an individual and you think you need to tell the child's parents, or spouse. What will they do with the information? Will they bring harm to their loved one? Just a thought...a sick thought, but there are sick people in the world.

My point is not to do harm in an effort to do good.