Okey Dokey, I'll send her the link. Up to her after that. Dotsie, maybe you should delete this thread in case she comes here?

Dianne, check for a private email.

Hi ladies,

Here's my two cents on the subject....

My husband has been pretty clueless for 20 years...but I made a decision to be happily married..and to honor him and see him as an "amazing husband". (believe my, at times it has been VERY difficult to think this way).

Something has happened to him as of late. He looks at me and thanks me for all of my hard work (household, homeschooling, building a business from home, being his sex-slave (just kidding)). It's like he has awaken from a fog.

I have always treated him with respect and adoration (I love him deeply)..and I believe at last it is begining to pay off.

I know it doesn't work that way for everyone - but it is amazing to see the turn around in my marriage. I had pretty well given up hope. (remember in my introduction I said I was happily married for at least 5 more years. I had given him a "5 yr warning"..the kids will be grown -- then we can renogitiate our contract. Ha)

I agree that this lady may just need a friend. Sometimes people just need to talk. We don't have to have the answers!

As long as there is life - there is hope!

Danita

I usually invite them to come to my site so they can get more than one viewpoint and maybe, make some friends on the site. There is only so much of me to go around and I get tired sometimes.

I think what you did in your marriage is amazing.

Danita, thanks for sharing. It's refreshing to hear stories that give hope for marriages.

Ladies, I'm going to delelte this message this weekend so Dianne can invite this woman to our forums.

Danita, I listen to Newlife.com all the time, and one of the things they say is that if you can hang on for five years, your marriage can stay together. You are living proof!

Donna,

Its a miracle, really. I don't know what has happened.

I gave up years ago -- having things "my way" (i.e. romantic husband who idolized me. ha)

I actually decided that God was my husband and provider. I guess it took the pressure off of my husband.

There have been times I have been very sad about our situation- I've always said if I had a magic wand - I would wave it, and my husband would love and appreciate me deeply. Very basic desire, huh.

I began building a bussiness about a year and a half ago - that has transformed ME.

I get dressed up - I go out and meet people - I am being successful, I have a vision for MY life! (and I'm taking him to Las Vegas AND Hawaii this year!) I can't help but think it has made my hubby look at me in a new way.

It has also giving me the confidence to say, "hey, in 5 yrs when the kids are gone - if YOU are still miserable then we can renogiate our marriage contract".

I don't want to spend my latter years alone - but I don't want to spend them either with a miserable man (who has NO GOOD REASON) to be miserable!

He's coming around. I think it's a combo of things - but it is precious!

As long as there is life there is hope - for ourselves, our husbands, our children -- for everyone.

Thankful Hugs,
danita

Personally I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you get all your wishes. It's nice to hear about a half way happy marriage anyway, and yes, there is hope of on kind or another.

Oh and being alone at any age is just a state of mind...

Thanks Chatty.

I'm not waiting around for him to fulfill all my wishes - I'm going forward with my life - with or without him.

I agree about being alone...and also being happy. That too is a state of mind and a decision!

I think I've gotten "bolder" in my "old age"...isn't that what happens. We stop worrying so much about the world - what it wants - what it thinks - and start taking care of ourselves. It's been like this for me.

It's been quite a revelation. I like being grown up!

D.

Amen to that Danita. As we age and (hopefully) mature we cast off the little girl ideals of happiness and become women with realistic goals and desires, at least most of us do and I pity those that remain clouded in the movies and romance novels versions of what happiness and true love should be like. PPLLLEEEAAAASSSEEE!! give me a break?