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#7023 - 02/05/06 02:59 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Sadie Offline
Member

Registered: 10/08/04
Posts: 1274
Loc: MD
Number 5 ,
It was Jack Nicholson I saw the movie and loved it.

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#7024 - 02/05/06 03:11 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
The movie which I'm referring to did not have Jack Nicholson in it and was a much newer movie.

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#7025 - 02/05/06 04:20 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
The movie is called The Upside of Anger. The mother's daughter is having an affair with an older guy and is using him to get her a job on his radio or tv network. He tells the mother why he doesn't like women her age. He says when he takes a young girl out to a steak dinner she calls it "yummy." He also went on to tell her a few other reasons as to why he likes younger women.
This was a great movie.

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#7026 - 02/05/06 04:22 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
china Offline
Member

Registered: 01/20/06
Posts: 31
Loc: Maryland
Ladybug, he has been home all day and ignoring me. He has that great way of turning things around so you look like the bad guy. He is mad because I checked the history on the computer. He claims I am spying on him. Hello, I am your wife, there should be no secrets. Also said I must be hiding a secret to be acting this way. It does not seem to be sinking in. I guess I can continue with my homework, talk to a lawyer and look for a car while seeing if any of this sinks in. He is a little guy, just gained 30 pounds, and does have bad breath. Hmmmmm, hell none of those young ones would want that. He is 59 and I 51. I have to admit, I look pretty good for this age. I do exercise and eat right. What I hate though, this is his house. He built it and lived here with his wife that died of cancer. Claims, she did not mind him looking at porn. Yeah right. I wish she was here so I could ask her. Anyway, I will have to be the one to move, again since it is his house. And, I feel that I just moved here 1 and 1/2 years ago. Now have to move again. I am a Gypsy. He just left to play bingo. No good byes. Oh well, some time to myself to really think about all of this. He is Italian, I was told about Italians, but did not see it while courting. Thank you for your support all day today. It has been a real comfort. When all alone you start to think he is right, or I am crazy, but I am right and not crazy.

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#7027 - 02/05/06 04:26 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
china Offline
Member

Registered: 01/20/06
Posts: 31
Loc: Maryland
Number 5 - thank you for sharing your story. Are you starting to make any plans to leave him? He does sound terrible, is he Italian??? You deserve so much better. Maybe we can help one another get through this. Thank god I did not put any of my finances with his. I just need to see a lawyer to learn what the Maryland divorce laws are.

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#7028 - 02/05/06 04:48 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
He does sound so terrible, is he Italian? [Big Grin] [Big Grin]

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#7029 - 02/05/06 05:06 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
China, don't feel bad. My second marriage was over after only 4 months. It took a few more to finalize it.

It wasn't over porn, but verbal abuse. You just don't know what you're getting, until you live with them. I have to have respect for a man before I can love him and how can you have respect when they're doing such horrible things?I know I did the right thing by divorcing him as soon as I knew it was over.

Daisygirl

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#7030 - 02/05/06 05:58 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
Is your husband what we call a "mammoni?" That means a mama's boy in Italian.

Yes, sounds like he's turning everything around to make you look bad. It's just his own guilt. I think you've stuck around too long with this loser. Be glad you won't be sticking around too much longer. Have you also considered that in your own case the age difference is just too much?

He's not right but he'll play mind games with you to make you think he is. He might also beg you to stay when he finds out you're saying goodbye. His ego will not be able to stand the fact that YOU are walking out on HIM. Please don't fall for it. Leave while you are still young and attractive. It might be scary at first but after you do you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

Take a good look at him again and ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life miserable.

[ March 01, 2006, 12:29 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

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#7031 - 02/05/06 06:52 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
China, China its not any particular nationality of man that sucks, most of them do! One council I can offer you is 'bide your time,' by that I mean get some facts together for the attorney, and save all the money you can for your move and new life. Open a private acount, secretely. Definitely get a dependable car. Did this slug put your name on the home because if he did and Maryland is a share property state you can get half that house even after only a year. He is the bad guy here remember that and don't worry about his ignoring you he will eventually get a "you know what" and come sniffing around. YOU IGNORE HIM....Do you ave some friends you can go out with, don't be home when he gets there, go see a movie if need be. As long as he is ignoring you, sleep on the sofa or in the spare room and don't cook or wash clothes for him. You ladies have leverage if you're smart enough to use it. I did and drove my ex totally nuts before kicking him out....Be smart, be in control and when he wants to talk just tell him he can't have it both ways. He can either love and respect you and the marriage or he can have his porn and thats all, maybe one of his make believe sex partners will wash his dirty underwear or cook his meals, NOT!!!

Oh and Ladybug, sorry but I have to disagree about women fantasizing about young hard bodied men. Women don't do that very often and nmost of us don't notice the balding, the belly and the other less that wonderful things that occur to our men. We seem to be able to love them just the same. Hell somrtimes we love them even more. Its them not us that fantasize. I think if you quiz the gals you'll find out I'm right....

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#7032 - 02/05/06 08:31 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Sadie Offline
Member

Registered: 10/08/04
Posts: 1274
Loc: MD
chatty ,
You are right on the money on that one Chatty , we love them just the way they are . We have a lot of good lawyers here . My daughtrs friend did that and saved money and then left with ther three kids to a safe house . More later.

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