Leave you? Leave the house?

We sat and had a chat. He knows that our marriage is on the line because of whats going on. And at the beginning of the chat did say that he would leave, but I told him no way, cos he isnt leaving me here with her. I would rather go. He said he does back me up. I was like WHEN,Please tell ME. Cos I have never seen it. I have told him we have got to be a united front where she is concerned. And that WE as a couple have got to STOP this disgusting behavour. His excuse was shes a homornal teenager. OH B*****X.lol Yeah right ok, shes been like that since the age of 4 then has she???
I said to him that as a human being there is only so much I or anyone for that matter can take. That I have treid to love her, only to have it thrown back in my face each and every time. I told him shes done it one too many times now, And I want nothing more to do with her. I know hes hurting inside cos she is his flesh and blood. I really do think he is at a total loss with what to do next. Everything we do is wrong as far as she is concerned. He feels guilty for not doing alot with her. BUT why would anyone want to with her attitude. I have told him thats the ONLY thing thats making her a BAD person. Hes getting annoyed that I am getting angry everytime she walks through the door. But she brings such an air in with her you really need to GET OUT.lol. My eldest gets on the devensive as well. Gary did actually slam out of the house earlier this evening cos she kept on about her freind staying blah blah. I had to ring him on his phone to see where he was.lol. Tom was in tears cos he wanted to see his dad before he went to bed. But the real reason hes in tears is.. I beleive he can see what shes doing to this family. That mummy isnt happy. I have told Gary all of this. And he agrees with me. I have also told him that I dont want to throw 9 years away over her. And that we should still be blissful over getting married 3 months ago. He agrees. I said to him honestly if she was more respectful, more loving, and helpful. I wouldnt mind freinds staying overnight. But One SHE ISNT. AND TWO. I have to get up at 6.30 for work.
OH WHAT TO DO NEXT.

I mentioned work. cos normally when she has people to stay its muggins ere that gets kept awake all night. I am not sleeping well as it is without someone elses child keeping me even more awake.

He left because she wouldn't stop? See, there is the problem. He runs away from her because he can't say no and put his foot down. She knows she's going to get her way. He really needs counseling.

Debs, you need to do something to take care of yourself. Have you tried what Cahtty suggested? I can tell from your posts that you are losing it...and no wonder. Undfortunately,it sounds like you can't change her so you somehow have to change yourself and how you deal with her bad behaviour. Any suggestions ladies?

I agree with Dotsie and Chatty but still feel that this child needs counciling or possibly Dad needs some, to learn the best way to deal with her. His leaving isn't going to change her attitude and she needs an attitude adjustment and quick. At her age she is only going to get worse if something isn't done quickly.

Debs, are you okay and did you survive last night?

OH Yes I am fine thankyou. Been chillin and watching tv.
Shes not been to bad today, in fact shes done her laundry and been fairly pleasent. Not that I have shown too much interest. But I was at work from 7.50am till 3pm, so havnt been at home. I will keep you posted as to what s going on. Hubbies at work days for 2 days. So I have all 4 kids to deal with on my own. But I shall go out I think.

Deb darlin, as hard as it is show her NO REACTION what-so-ever. If she see's she can't get to you no matter what she does, SHE'S INVISIBLE remember? This bad attitude will change. You do have to make sure your husband does the same thing. It's alot like training a new puppy, when she's good tell her and reward her, BUT when she isn't ignore her totally.You can't chain her in the back yard actually but you can mentally, she won't know how to handle this. Good luck 'step-mom' and remember it isn't spelled, 'door-mat.'

[ August 22, 2005, 08:31 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Alls been quiet on the brat front. Shes been pleasent to all around her, including me. But I havnt said anything back. I have either nodded or shook my head. Shes done all of her laundry, but is doing everyone elses as well. And thats been for the past 3 days. Both of the stepkids are back at their mothers tomorrow morning. How longs she gonna keep this up I wunder??