Hi -- it's me with yet another question for the research I'm doing (yes, it just keeps going and going...)

Many of you use the term Boomer Sister. Can you tell me what that means? How would you describe a boomer sister? Is she any different from anyone else you know? Is there something particular about the women on this site that distinguishes them from others? Please think about it and give me details! thanks! If you want, you can PM me with this.

DJ,

I think the term Boomer Sister implies something shared. Sisters are unique in that they have a shared experience. We all were born within a certain time frame, so, therefore, share common experiences from our life times even though we didn't find each other till now.

Sisters typically belong to a family. We all belong to the baby boomer family. Plus, women sharing experiences, dreams, joys, prayers, etc become sisters through all of this.

So, do I think there is something particular about the women on this site that distinguishes them from others? Yes, I do. We come together to get advice from those who understand where we have come from, what we are up against(they may be there or already have been there) and can help us through trying times. They also "give a dam" if you are hurting or have joy to share. That makes us sisters, boomer sisters and sisters of the human race of women.

My opinion of the term. That's what it means to me. good luck with the research. Hope it helps. Let us know if you get enough feedback.

Sandpiper

thanks Sandpiper.

Clearly, just as not everyone is your sister, not every baby boomer woman is attracted to this particular site. Agreed? So what is there unique about this site?

As Sandpiper says, "we didn't find each other till now." We all have known women our own age all our lives.

So what exactly is it that you've found on this site? I'm really trying to pinpoint this.

DJ,

There are different types of women out there. Some are more nurturing than others, some more athletic,or content to spend time completely within their family sphere.

I think what makes this site special and calls to a particular type of woman is what I see everytime I log on here. It is the feeling that these women deeply care whether you are in trouble or need help with an issue in your lives. This site has many different threads and responds to the various needs we all have.

I just finished visiting another site from a post on one of the threads here. Older Wiser Women, while this is a good site, it does not hold the same attraction for me as this site does.

This site calls to those people with empathy, those with a nurturing aspect to their personality, those that believe in the power of prayer, women who believe that women need other women to help them work through sad,trying times in their lives as well as celebrate their joys, humor, and understanding how you feel growing older and what it means for you. A willingness to uphold each other through all of this creates a sisterhood and makes you feel like you've found another family.

So, I guess it would be that this site attracts those women of like minds, hearts and humor. Not all women would fit here, you are correct. But I think that is what makes this site unique.

Hope that helps clarify for you DJ.
Sandpiper

Thanks again Sandpiper. Anyone else have a thought on this?

Sandpiper, thanks for hitting the nail on the head. This is exactly what I hoped would happen. My dream was for women to encourage, connect and support one another in all of life. By the grace of God, and the empathy of women who reach out and care for one another...this continues to happen.

I believe the majority of women who settle here have tremedous hearts. We thrive on loving one another.

Everyone needs to feel appreciated, respected, and encouraged. Unfortunately, not everyone receives this in day to day life. My prayer is that we receive it when we are here. A little kindness goes a long way. I also pray we feel better when we log off BWS.

DJ, As you follow our posts back to the origin, often it seems that we come with a need. Maybe we are hurt or angry and need advice or maybe we're lonely and need to reach out. Some of us are suffering loss and need prayer. Others are simply bored and want to share a laugh. No matter what the need, each of us seems to come needing to share something too deep for the real world.

Once we are accepted and our need is met, we begin to share the cares of others and we have a connection then we return time after time to reconnect. We may go days or even months without needing or having time for posting, but eventually we all come back to reconnect.

Perhaps those who happen by without posting do not yet have a need to share. Or maybe they post once or twice and their need is met so they go their way stronger or perhaps embarrassed nto to be able to take the advice offered. But whatever direction they take, they know we are here if they need or just want to share.

This site is what we make it and with Dotsie's help we've made it a nurturing place where women are encouraged to find the best in themselves and share it with the world.
smile

I've been letting this question of "Boomer Sister" sit in my being for the past couple of days, trying to articulate what it is that my heart and soul find here. I still haven't come up with anything more profound to add to what Sandpiper and Smile have already said so well.

All I know is that this place, these women are NESTLED, here in the depths of my being. They are a part of me, their names are etched on my heart. I don't go anywhere without them tagging along in my heart and mind and prayer.

Throughout these past two weeks of being "incomunicado", your names were constantly coming to my mind, and I was constantly and EAGERLY WANTING to pray for each of you, hoping you were all staying safe and healthy. My heart could not contain the care that I felt for my sisters here. Even from that distance and not being able to physically connect to this site, I was still emotionally connected to my sisters...to JJ, Chick, Smile, Dotsie, Chatty, Lionspaaw, Lynn, Pam, and oh so many more! All of your names crossed my mind throughout my days away from here. I've NEVER felt that level of connection before. I don't understand it, or why in all my years of belonging to prayer groups and choirs and various other groups, I never felt this depth of kinship or connection.

The profound loneliness that drove me to search until I stumbled into this site is gone. I can't explain that. Loneliness has been my middle name for as long as I can remember. But even in Quebec, unable to connect, I didn't feel that familiar old loneliness, because I KNEW I had all of you, my sisters, waiting here for me when I got back. What a gift. What an indescribably wonderful gift!

What can I call someone who brings such immeasurable joy and serenity to my life? Friends, yes. But I have a few good friends in my life. And they are irreplaceable. But you are somehow so much more than just friends. I've never had a sister. But always wondered what my life would be like if I had a sister. Being here has given me an inkling of what it might have been like. "Sister" has become the only name that articulates (for me) the profound connection I feel here with so many of you.

"Safe Place" and "Home" also come to mind.

[ August 14, 2005, 10:07 PM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]

Thanks, Eagle, Very heartfelt description.

So, what I'm hearing from the 3 of you (Dotsie doesn't count-- sorry, hon!) is that this site attracts women who need help and give help, and do so in a caring way.

Sandpiper mentions there's a similar mind and humor -- what can anyone tell me about the kind of humor or the kind of mind that you find here? how is it different from other groups of women you know?

[ August 16, 2005, 11:24 AM: Message edited by: DJ ]

I think what makes these "relationships" unique is the unfettered nature of the communication. Among some of the "vets" there is a no holds barred response to things, but it is tempered w/ love and empathy. The humor is unique in that we laugh at ourselves and with each other, not at anyone! I'm always amazed at the ability to put our own foibles out there for millions to read and the cyber laughter that bubbles along the ethernet! The coffee clatch from afar, yet in my mind I hear the giggles and guffaws as we share our stories, I imagine the box of kleenex making the rounds of a warm, cozy room full of overstuffed furniture and the smell of herb tea as we share tears and sorrows. And mostly, this is a safe place, this is a place where those of us w/ intimacy issues, who might never have these unfettered conversations face to face, will share things that need sharing, will ask for help when normally we wouldn't, will reach out and interact w/ love and find comfort in at last, common ground.

I'm so very grateful, that even in my prodigal times, that these woman, these sisters, are here!

I think I have a slightly different (although not altogether) viewpoint here, DJ. I'll see if I can articulate it. I came across this site as a writer who has strong ties with "sisters" in my own spiritual community and in a community of old friends. I'm on other writers' lists but there is not the comaraderie there as on this site. It wasn't until after I first posted that I realized that this was, in many ways, a Christian site and given that I'm Wiccan, that could have been very uncomfortable--even unworkable. I still do feel that I need to tread carefully; I'm sure some women are as uncomfortable with my spirituality as I might be with theirs. But what keeps me coming back? The sharing, caring and openness and definitely the sense of sisterhood that comes across. That's something I think we have in common. And, I'll admit, I'm one of those people who always wants to hear both sides of things and am curious about people who think or live differently than I do. It's often difficult to get past those differences to learn about each other. This is one of those places where I think it just might be possible.

Dream of the Circle of Women
by Dahti Blanchard
published May 2004 by Spilled Candy Books
visit: www.dahtiblanchard.com

Very well put Dahti...

DJ, the word your searching for to describe this place, and the feelings within is:

Unconditional

JJ

Ladies you've all said what I would have said - ONLY BETTER! JJ's word "unconditional" applies to every aspect of participation here in Dotsie's wonderful forum....I love "coming home" here every day to see what my fellow sisters are up to.

Dahti,
Funny, but I never thought of this as a "christian" site...but I guess from the perspective of people of other beliefs, it could certainly appear that way. There do seem to be many women of strong faith here...but I believe that our belief structure/tradition/culture is just one facet of our total person. I can understand your caution, but I hope you feel welcome here.....life is a journey where we accumulate knowledge and experience. I feel that I should be sure to greet each person and each experience as though they/it has something to teach me. I embrace the diversity of the women here and am glad you are among us.

Kathryn

Thanks Kathryn. That's what is so great about this group of women--I do feel welcome here. Though my beliefs are different than most here (Pattyann being the exception) and I suspect my political leanings are different than many also, there are many, many things I think we all have in common. This may sound a bit lofty, but the one thing I've always thought could truly change the world is when people of different backgrounds, beliefs and cultures really share with each other and listen to what the others have to say without dismissing them because they are different. Unfortunately I think that's a rare thing so it's nice to feel there's a bit of that here.

Dream of the Circle of Women
by Dahti Blanchard
published May 2004 by Spilled Candy Books
visit: www.dahtiblanchard.com

Dahti, I want to echo Kathryn's message. I too have a very strong faith, and it happens to be Christian-based, but I fervently believe in - and try to foster, nurture and uphold - our unity in diversity. My faith has been made stronger by embracing, listening, exploring and incorporating into my own spirituality the various pieces of wisdom and insight that have come from other people I've met along my journey.

I agree wholeheartedly with you, that peace on earth will only come about when people of different backgrounds, beliefs and cultures really share with each other and listen to what the others have to say without dismissing them because they are different.

It is my hope that we are learning and living that peace here in this site, that our connections with each other will continue to heal us and teach us how to unconditionally embrace and be enriched by the unique gift and wisdom each woman who stumbles into BWS brings to the banquet table of our lives.

[ August 17, 2005, 03:40 PM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]

Yes,
Dahti, we are in the minority recognizing a feminine force as the goddess and in a way I felt that treading lightly here was called for. But there is sisterhood here-we are all a part of a whole- a generation of women who grew up with endless possibilities.
Some of us here are homemakers, some have vocations, some merely jobs to pay the pipers but we all laugh and cry and worry and dream and this is a place to share this with reverance for others' beliefs and understanding that we may not agree but we can always honor the women we are

For me 'Boomer Sisters' means an understanding of what it means to have been born in a time of innocense and are now living in a time far removed from then. We have become our mother's and our grandmother's and we don't understand a lot of what is going on in our world today. We came from a simplier time...when being gay meant happy, when we could sleep with our doors unlocked and we could play a block or two away after dark (as long as we were within shouting distance of our parents) and not worry about being snatched or abused. We live in a time that sometimes doesn't make sense to use and we reach out to others who might be going through the same things. It's comforting to know that there are women around my age who has/is/will go through the things I did/have/will go through and can come here for advice/comfort/awareness and love. JJ you are right when you said 'unconditional.' The unconditional acceptance we find here...find with our boomer sisters, is unlike any other site I've visited...in fact, for me, there is no other. This is my one and only site I come to for advice and support and to share my day. You are my sisters in a time that sometimes doesn't make sense...I know I will always find a warm place to fall and it gives me an opportunity to give in return that which is given to me. Thanks you Dotsie for this wonderful site.

There's something else that I find really interesting. This is a website, but many of you refer to it as an actual place. Do you have pictures in your mind about what this "place" looks like, as you type here?

Dee, your comments really speak to me this morning. Last night was my MIL's memorial service. During her service we reflected upon how life changed during her lifetime. Your words are a reflection of how times have changed in our lifetime which is more than enough. I can't imagine how our parent's generation must feel.

[ August 20, 2005, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

I like to imagine this place as our darling Georgia once described it. A huge old house filled with flowers and memories and lace and old wonderful mementos scattered around. A group in the kitchen Boom Boom, Loisa, Dee helping me with a scrumptous new dish I am making for everyones dinner in the great dining hall and Dianne, Lynn, Chickadee and Donna sit under a large shade tree reading and writing and just talking with one another. Dotsie, Pam and Janis are on the porch swing enjoying a summer smoothie. Meredith is in the craft room with Sugar and Robin showing them some beading techniques. Danita has just arrived for some R&R after a buiness trip. Sandra and Lily out in the garden picking big fat juicy tomatoes. Many other ladies are playing badmitten or just strolling leisurely on tree covered paths enjoying the sites and sounds during stress free moments. Trikster, Reeta, Rosee and the other animals are frolicking in the tall grass. While Bunny and Sammie watch squaking their approval from the huge bay window in the parlor. Laughter fills the warm summer air. I think of this place as heaven on earth, a place to be "refreshed" and surrounded by loving women, with big hearts and beautiful souls. A place with it's very own tiny Chapel nestled next to a babbling brook near a gazeebo surrounded by lilac bushes and roses....My imagination? Of course but it is the way I picture this place, our place....To me its The Boomers Bed and Breakfast

[ August 20, 2005, 08:37 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Oh Chatty,

What a wonderful description of our home. Truly one of beauty, love, caring, freedom, laughter and happiness. I feel it is our own special place. Yes, I like the idea of The Boomers Bed and Breakfast. Oh, the imagination can take us places of rest and refreshment.

Thanks -- Sandpiper

Chatty, that is absolutely charming. Your imagination must make the whole world a wonderful place for everyone.
smile

Dotsie,
Thank you for your sweet words. Reading about everyone's comments has inspired me to write about a wonderful woman I want to introduce you to...my husband's grandmother. I think I'll spend some time this morning doing that...she passed away 3 months ago and although I only knew her a short while she had such an impact on me. She could tell you some stories..She was 93 when she passed away.
Chattylady, I love your B&B...when you are aready for reservations, let us know...I, for one, will be there. I love this site!!!!!!

The more I think about this group, the more questions I have!

Does anyone think of this as a quiet place? We're all just typing to each other. Chatty's B&B has a babbling brook, animals squawking, laughter and talk. What do you think?

The babbling brook I describe and the squaking birds, and the lilting laughter and conversation are all done quietly within the serenity of these magnificient William Kincaid type surroundings. These are not noisey sounds that annoy or would interfere with the peace I would like us all to experience here at Boomer Bed and Breakfast. This would be a quiet place mostly except at mealtimes when we would all come together to enjoy lucious recipes and talk and yes, laugh together....

Calgon, take it me away...

Hi. I just wanted to say that I've read this thread and you are all so articulate when describing how you feel about this site. I too feel a lot less lonely because I carry you all with me. And, like I said on another thread, I don't feel like myself without you. Love and Light, Lynn

Chatty, I have tears in my eyes after reading your post. It's the Golden Girls several times over with laughter, serious topics, love, food...the makings of heaven on earth and how I long to actually do this with all of you. Okay, I'm crying now, got to go.

Dear DJ
I just saw this topic and would like to say that the whole aspect of 'boomer sisters', I believe, derives from her unfailing belief in love and growth and within that love and growth the freedom to accept that which we do not understand, and to nurture all aspects of growth. In essence becoming the love within in its acceptance of life and learning, and love and sharing this without fear.

To all the boomer sisters on this site:

The beauty within the responses of all of you boomer sisters is incomparable, the heart wondrous and the sharing immaculate in its form and expression, for within the heart, that which is....is the love, and within love there is no fear and so ladies, the strength wihin you all is incomparable.

That is what I have discovered on this site...the beauty of women willing to share, laugh and cry, beyond belief systems, beyond circumstances, for love is truly all there is. That has immeasurable value and will never be forgotten!

With love
Leigha

Leigha,

So beautifully written and heartfelt. I am so glad you were able to articulate your feelings. That is how I feel here and I am sure others do too.

Glad you are part of us.
Sandpiper

The words about this fourm are all so beautiful. I know many of us have differing beliefs, but they are all rooted and grounded in love. Love is all that matters.

Dear Sandpiper

Thank you for your lovely words Sandpiper and I am indeed blessed by your kindness in expressing them.

With love
Leigha

Here's from newbie,Rose, on Boomer Sisters...This is so totally awesome and inspiring to me. I "fell" into this site quite by accident...I was surfing the net on the key word "middle aged". I so desperately wanted to connect to someone, anyone, who could validate that all the feelings I have are "normal". I am a licensed therapist, so I realize that "normal" is only in the eye of the beholder or the vocabulary of the speaker! I knew I was a baby boomer, but I didn't realize that a place had been organized for us to connect! As I began surfing your site and reading the entries in the forum and the writings I felt hot tears coursing down my face as I "connected"...connected in a way that has never happened before! I have been tired for so long, sad for so long, unfulfilled for so long, yet my days are constantly filled with helping others. My tank is empty. I am sooo looking forward to being a regular and I have already registered! God bless all of you!

Welcome Rose! Glad to have you with us. Good for you for finding this site. I was searching for boomer sites when I found this one also. It was the best thing for me. I absolutely love it here. These women are the kindest, warmest, helpful and just plain fun.
I didn't know there was a site to 'connect' with other boomers either. I think it is terrific that Dotsie started it. Reading your post made my heart sad that it took you so long to find a place where you could learn others are feeling the same thing you are and going through the same emotions and problems. But terribly glad you DID find us.
So, join the fun, hearfelt kinship, love and kindness on this site and let us help you fill your tank. You will find sister love here.

Sandpiper

Welcome Rose. I know you'll find friends here. It's time you gave some of that love and understanding to yourself.

Rose, welcome in! I too was broken, empty and utterly lost when I stumbled in here. The difference these women have made in my life is nothing short of miraculous. There's a lot of love within these virtual walls! So come on in, nestle into the warmth here and make yourself at home.

Welcome, Rose-we all share a coming of age time and have all had experiences to share-let us know how to help or share a laugh

Glad you found us Rose....hopefully friendships you will make here will "fill you back up" since you seem to give so much of yourself to others. You've come to the right place! Welcome.

Welcome Rose to our happy home. I have never had an addiction of any nature in my life until finding this site. I am hooked, hook line and sinker and spend my days here enjoying everyone of my new found friends, just like you.