It seems like only a few years ago my two children were small. We'd go through each mile stone looking forward to the next. We are drifting along on the currents of time. It doesn't seem that long ago that I looked eagerly to them "leaving the nest" and now I dread it. Time is going by way too quickly for me. I think that's why it's important for us to fill up our days with worthwhile endeavors, whether it's volunteer work or just helping an elderly neighbor. You fill it in here: It's good to keep busy and have a happy attitude each day. It's too sad to look back and I think, not healthy.

I absolutely agree with you, Ladybug. You are a very wise woman. Time just seems to have flown by and now my "baby" is 27 and very much on his own. Chuck and I have found that we treasure our "alone time" now, especially since cancer almost shorted it so dramatically. Every day is a treasure for us.

NHJackie, so sorry to hear about the cancer. My husband had a stroke on March 29th that completely took us by surprise and definetely affected all four of us in many different ways. These things give us a new perspective on life and probably make us stronger. We value life more and maybe don't take it for granted so much. As time goes on do you feel you're not so afraid of this disease as at the time when you were close to it and it just happened? It gets better each day as the fear subsides but new emotions surface that must be dealt with. Very best wishes to you and your husband and much love too. I understand.

I am so glad your husband is doing well.

Chuck and I are all too familiar with cancer, since I've survived it once and he twice. Last year his second bout required major surgery, which went fine and got rid of all the cancer. Unfortunately, he picked up a nasty post operative infection which came very close to ending his life. He was in and out of the hospital several times. He's doing absolutely super now, but it was a rough time for both of us.

Frankly, I'm not sure what got me through last winter. I was honestly on automatic pilot through most of it, running back and forth to the hospital and doing what had to be done to keep things going at home. Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am, but for me it was more just the way things had to be. I think I'm in worse shape emotionally now that he's out of the woods than I was when things were at their worse.

I'm not afraid of cancer anymore. Just determined to continue to be a survivor. Somewhere along the line I learned to stop thinking like a victim and concentrate on living the life I've been dealt.

Thank you for understanding. As nice as most people are, you can't really, unless you've been there. And it's not a place I really want to go again.

Sending both of you love. You've been through so much.

NHJackie, You have been through a lot and yes, you go on automatic pilot and just do what has to be done. The fear is over for me now and I think if anything bad happens again I'll hold up a lot better. I've been reading about those super infections going around which can be deadly especially for someone with a compromised immune system which is what cancer leaves you with. One of the worst things was having a panic attack and thinking I was having a heart attack instead. Luckily my son was here and said, "let's go for a walk." It was 11:30 at night. I threw my coat on over my pj's and we walked and I calmed down. The first time I had one I was driving in the car after picking up my husband's prescription and thinking how I had to hurry home because I was so afraid for him to be alone. I couldn't breathe! The doctor gave me a prescription for an antidepressant but I never got it filled. I was too afraid to take them. You never expect to have to learn how to do the things a trained nurse does. I'm greatful to the people that ask not only how my husband is but how I'm doing.
Again, my very best to you and your husband. I have a feeling that both of you are going to be just fine. It's hard but no one says life is easy.

I've been taking an antidepressent every day for a couple of years. So does Chuck. Depression is part and parcel of the sort of stuff we've been through. So are panic attacks. Taking some sort of med to help get you through them shouldn't scare you, as long as you're under a doctor's care.

It's amazing the things we can do when someone we love needs us. If anyone had told me a year ago I would have learned to change surgical dressings without blinking, I would have thought they were out of their minds. But I did and would again if I ever had to.

NHJackie, I too use to marvel at what others had to do to care for a sick, loved one. Boy did I find out how much strength I had when I had to do it too. Even though checking blood sugar is now an easy routine for me you should have seen me the first time I had to do it. My husband was released from the hospital at 9:00 p.m. I was exhausted and hungry. He was supposed to be released at 12:00 noon earlier. The nurse was trying to teach me how to use the glucose monitor and she didn't know how herself. I know she was even more exhausted than I was. The next day when I did use it I had to stick him 3 times and we were both yelling at each other. He didnot want to be stuck again who can blame him? Thankfully the diabetes went away and there are no more pills for that but I do check him twice a month just to be sure. Let us all hope the worst times are over for us. God Bless!

I sure hope so! Chuck ran a 5K road race this morning. He's been a distance runner for years, but 6 months ago I never would have thought he could run again. Let alone faster than he did before he got sick.

He's also lost about 80 pounds, partly because of his illness and partly because he's gone of hormone therapy for the first time in 7 years. Almost a year since he did that, and no sign of the cancer returning. I truly believe in miracles!

Wow Jackie a 5K race, good for him! Gary was 197 lbs., when he had the stroke and now he's 160 lbs. When you first have something like this happen you look at the person who's gone through it and think they'll never be the same and in some ways they aren't. I am amazed too at the wonderful progress and recovery I've seen. I agree it's truly a miracle. Enjoy each day as it comes and look forward to even better ones. It's all we can do.