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#81329 - 02/26/06 05:54 AM
Re: Downsizing...
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Member
Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
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Chatty, I'm ready for a smaller house but in our case, my sons have chosen to stay close to home so won't need extra room for them to stay.
We built our house in '89. I designed and contracted it, it was my dream house. It has seemed too big since my daughter died and the house has lost its charm. When we can all afford it, our plan is to trade houses with our son who farms with us. He has started a family and I would love to see them raise their children here, bringing the laughter and child's voices back to these rooms.
So I guess my response to your topic is more emotional than practical. On the practical side, my DIL will have to get used to having the gatherings here, when she has the space instead of us! [ February 25, 2006, 09:55 PM: Message edited by: flipperjo ]
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#81330 - 02/26/06 10:21 PM
Re: Downsizing...
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Member
Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
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We downsized 4 years ago with the blessing of both our children, who live out-of-state. At the time, their dad had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and we wanted to be in a place where I could be comfortable by myself when and if the time came. Thank God, that time hasn't yet arrived.
I love it where I live now. When my kids come to stay, it gets very crowded here, but nobody seems to mind.
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#81331 - 02/27/06 10:07 PM
Re: Downsizing...
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Member
Registered: 01/03/06
Posts: 195
Loc: Georgia, U.S.
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Hi Chattylady and all. To stay, or go, that's a question that many of us ask ourselves, about the homeplace, as time goes by. Sometime the decision is more or less taken out of our hands, due to health concerns, or effects, as in the case of NHJackie. Sometimes it's a matter of either too many good memories, or some bad experiences, we've had in the homeplace, that determines our decision. Sometimes we stay, out of financial necessity. And sometimes we stay, merely because it is what we know, and have known, for so long. In past years, taking care of major home upkeep jobs may have been just a matter of placing a call to a local contractor, or service. While sundry smaller jobs we managed by ourselves. Caring for large yards, for instance, which for some means more work, seasonally determined. Possibly at this time of life, we may not desire to spend a great deal of money, on home repair, or upkeep. Paying an increasingly hefty amount to heat and cool a large home may begin to be a consideration, as well, when thinking of the future. And, I think too, it depends on what each of us wants, at this particular time of life. With children grown and gone, we may desire to channel our energies into areas other than the time consuming work of the upkeep of a large home. I guess, bottom-line, to go or to stay is a decision we must weigh, according to our own individual needs, wants, circumstances, and in some small part, our willingness, and ability, to embrace change, at this time of our lives. http://www.intouchwithjeannine.com
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#81333 - 02/28/06 03:41 AM
Re: Downsizing...
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Member
Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
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We sold the house we lived in fo 13 years when our kids were in middle school and moved 3 times between then and where they graduated from hs and went off to collge, although we've always been in the same town. Since we've been out of that house longer than we lived there now, I can't say any of us really missed it anymore.
I have a crosstitch hanging in my kitchen that one of my neighbor's gave me when we moved the first time that says "It's love that makes a house a home." Looking at it helped keep me sane when we lived in a couple of places that's weren't so great.
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#81334 - 02/28/06 05:57 AM
Re: Downsizing...
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Member
Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
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My situation is identical to yours Dotsie...we moved into our home when our oldest was only 2 1/2 and then had 3 more children...and raised all of them here...my parents lived with us for a year after my Dad retired and they were waiting for their new townhome to be built...This house has seen my kids celebrate their Baptisms and their b'days, First Holy Communion parties and Confirmation dinners,Pre Prom buffets and Gradutaions from HS and College and Grad school..funeral luncheons for my parents and 50th B'day parties for my girlfriends...so much history here...I am so reluctant to move and yet the house is always in need of repair...we have too much lawn , an inground pool that we keep up and only my dogs have the time to swim now...and a very long driveway that I see as a heart attack waiting to happen to my husband each time it snows..my head tells me it's time to downsize...my heart tells me something entirely different...My youngest has one year left of college..and I promised her that she could move back if she wanted to after graduation like the others did...so I am thinking I have at least 2 more years before I have to make a definitive decision...My Hubby is ready for maintenance free living...and I don't want this to become an issue between us...still..I get weepy when I think of leaving this house that sheltered us and watched us grow...
I really love the quote on your Crosstitch Jackie..and in the end ....Love really is all that matters...
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#81335 - 02/28/06 06:46 AM
Re: Downsizing...
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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Interesting, as we have always been empty-nesters we are UPSIZING!
We have so many interests/businesses, we just need our own shops, outdoor patio areas, gardening and barbequeing, composting, animal areas (five dogs) etc.
Are we weird or what??
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#81337 - 04/02/06 03:55 AM
Re: Downsizing...
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Member
Registered: 03/02/06
Posts: 166
Loc: New Zealand
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Just thought I'd add my downsizing story. We lived in a large four bedroom L shaped 'Lockwood' house with a lovely pool tucked into the L part. We only have one child so by the time she left home.....which was actually at a young age 17!!! (But that's an empty nest story) We continued living in the big house (a house I never really liked) for another 3 years until it sold and we built a little Versatile Cottage(that's a type of garage/shed/cottage buildings they have here in NZ, all low maintenance stuff) and it's been the best move ever, it's a little two bedroom place with open plan kitchen, office, dining, lounge area....but small enough for me to keep clean and tidy in no time at all, great for the animals, very private and a wonderful view.
Eliabeth comes home often and brings her young man too and there is plenty of room for them when they stay. We have a garage attached which has a second shower and bathroom.
Best thing we ever did. Had enough money over to put into a retirement beach front apartment on the Kapiti Coast, that's half way between our country property and our daughters city apartment in Wellington.
Sometimes I know it can be hard to give up the family home, but for me the big place we left was actually our second family home.....we had lived in the 1st home (another Lockwood but smaller) for the first 13 or so years of our marriage and we both wish we had stayed put in the 1st house rather than build the bigger place.
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#81344 - 04/04/06 01:32 AM
Re: Downsizing...
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Member
Registered: 03/02/06
Posts: 166
Loc: New Zealand
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quote: Originally posted by smilinize:
I would love to live in New York City. It energizes me, but it does seem awfully complex. I also love the solitude of the country.
smile
Oh smile I totally agree with you there, I love the energy of city life but also the solitude of the country is wonderful. Then again I love the ocean sounds and smells!!
But New York, I wanted to live there after my visit.
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#81345 - 07/21/06 02:10 AM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: flossie]
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Member
Registered: 06/08/06
Posts: 111
Loc: Brisbane Australia
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Oh...I have just noted in a different thread that My husband and I would like to live in England or America for a while in a couple of years time. Currently our home is five bedroom and I can see that at least one or two bedrooms will free up over the next few years. Chatting to all these boomers has given me the thought to ensuite a bedroom and invite boomers from this forum to stay over should they wish to visit Brisbane. We could have a network all over the world where our web friends can stay and see the world at the same time. We could even look into the house swapping thing if all the children are living elsewhere!!!
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#81346 - 07/21/06 08:20 AM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: DebShines]
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Member
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
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Hi, Debshines: You seeking to retire outside Australia? Come to England! The social structure is more or less the same so adjusting would be a breeze. The British husband decided to settle the family in the UK from the US 16 years ago and though the medium is English, the culture and lifestyle...different kettle of fish. Moved here when Sunday trading was not the norm. Took some time to get the hang of things and enjoyed shopping for bread at the bakers, meat at the butchers, veg at the greengrocers, fish at the fishmongers etc. It is, however, starting to develop much like in US cities where small village traders are being forced out in favour of supermarkets. Nevertheless, all is still beautiful. My youngest sister who was born in NY was brought up in Canberra but now lives in Perth. Brother-in-law is in Melbourne, another in Sydney. So, you can balance the scale and move up here from down there.
It's a lovely idea to have pockets of places where BWS folks can check into when they go trotting around the globe as you've suggested. I'd throw in my lot and be a happy innkeeper as soon as BWS gets around to organising things of the sort.
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#81349 - 07/21/06 08:06 PM
Re: Downsizing...
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member
Registered: 07/18/06
Posts: 11
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Maybe one of those finger printing gadgets and take pictures and prints and run background checks then do secured transactions re: the details of the trip from there out??? Everyone that arrives must match the prints and the picture??? Too techy? Impersonal? Seems sorta personal but hey! Never can be too safe. It seems like that isn't even fool proof these days though. I guess nothing is.
This idea came about during this hotel project that I'm working on. Of course these devices will be top of the line but there are less expensive ones for less frequent usage.
Edited by Sugaree (07/21/06 08:09 PM)
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#81351 - 07/23/06 08:37 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: flossie]
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member
Registered: 07/06/06
Posts: 138
Loc: Oakland County, Michigan
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My story is of necessity rather than family history. After six months of being married, I became pregnant (35 years ago). It came necessary to find a house fast with limited income. We purchased a 2 bedroom frame home with no basement. For 9 years I hated it but so what.
I finally divorced my first husband and life kept changing (to make the story short). Eleven years ago I remarried a man (also with one son from 1st marriage) who lived in our home for 26 years. After much prodding, we moved into a condo two years ago. I am a professional organizers for seniors and started practicing what I preach to others.
First, I took one room at a time. This started a year before actually moving to adjust to change gradually. If I didn't use it after one year it was given away, tossed or donated. By the time the move actually became reality, there were only items we actually used or wanted to store for memories.
In our new condo (home) there are 3 bedrooms and 3 full bathrooms, basement and garage. Just like a home without the outside responsibilities. A small environment with very nice neighbors. One bedroom is converted into my office with a queen size sofa bed for the grandchildren. The second bedroom is for my husband's office/family room use. The master bedroom has only the clothing we wear in the closet.
There are so many tricks but plenty of room for vacationing family yet is feels like our own space. Hope I have helped someone. Take it slow and plan ahead. Don't put pressure on yourself.
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#81352 - 07/26/06 01:12 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Phyllis0618]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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We went from a 4000 sq ft home to a 1115 sq ft sky flat. I have to tell you, I love this simplified living. Most of our furniture went into storage and the big question seems to be when we'll see it again. We will be moving to another Flat in March of next year that, while larger, not by that much. We're not so sure we ever want a house with a lawn again.
Out of necessity, I finally went through my closet and got rid of clothes I rarely wore or never wore and I guess because I didn't want to move stuff I didn't use any longer, it made it much easier. Nine fifty-five gallon bags of clothes were given away. It felt sooooo good!
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81353 - 07/26/06 04:20 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Dianne]
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Member
Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 24
Loc: Pueblo, CO
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We are hopeless--moving many times in our life together, kids in tow--we continue to love whatever 'homestead' in which we currently reside. Since we add to our 'stuff' with regularity, (antiques nuts), and get rid of nothing (Grand old Dame of a home absorbs well) the boys feel they are coming 'home' when they are wherever we are. I had to laugh when our Baltimore kids bought their first home--He said it was special--reminded him of the houses (note the plural) in which he grew up! No, not ready to downsize, yet. Each old house and piece of recycled stuff has a story, you know:o)
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
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#81355 - 07/27/06 08:36 PM
Re: Downsizing...
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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Dots, four pairs. Enough said, sigh.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81357 - 08/02/06 02:15 AM
Re: Downsizing...
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member
Registered: 07/18/06
Posts: 11
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Oh my goodness! I recall this 'downsizing' thread a bit earlier this year and even last year. Well, here's a new report on how it is: Child number two (daughter) came home in mid May (college out early in the south? Jeeze). I had already downsized and moved into a smaller unit. My plans were to purchase a futon for my den and an air mattress for others (son) or just company. That didn't happen. My daughter and I ended up sharing my king size. Needless to say, we've spent too much time together and I want out! I so look forward to her going back to college. My son didn't come here until last week to spend the week. He brought his girlfriend up that lives about 45 minutes outside of Milwaukee but doesn't want to part from my son so she's been here! Now, am I supposed to be 'liberated' enough of a 'young parent' to let them sleep together inside of my house? (Hmmm, could it be that I'm not sleeping with anyone in my house and so I don't want anyone else to either or could it be that I have morals and they're NOT married despite what they have claimed?) WHEW! Let me take a breath! So, now my daughter wont be going back out of state to college because we can't afford it. My son is going back to Las Vegas though, tomorrow. Downsizing is officially my favorite word of the YEAR! Yes! I long to feel that 'empty nest syndrome' feeling again where tears flowed ever so gently down my cheeks as we said our last parting words before she boarded the aircraft.
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"Live simply so that others may simply live." ~~Unknown Author
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#81358 - 08/02/06 08:20 AM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Sugaree]
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The Divine Ms M
Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
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I guess my case is a little different from most of you in that I never had kids, and have no family here in Cali unless you count you-know-who.
Our first house was in Oklahoma, maybe half this size but with a huge yard that needed mowing every 15 minutes. My husband said he never wanted to mow another lawn again, and that's fine with me.
This house is ~2000 or 2100 sq.', and a very small yard with mostly xeriscaping -- cactus, bougainvillea, 2 avocado trees, and some unidentifiable growing things. I decorated the house, and it's like an art gallery with a 2-storey living room ceiling. I love this house. There was a time I thought about moving, maybe to North Cali because it's more cultural, but I never went so here I am.
U-no-hu doesn't want to move either, even though I've asked him to on many occasions. Not too long ago when we had termite inspectors give an estimate, hubbo said to the guy, "We'll probably be in this house till we die." I think he's right.
When I first saw this house in 1981, I absolutely fell in love with it. I love the way the space is arranged and the energy flow. When I moved to Cali I also had a very strong sense that I had come home.
I try to keep things neat-ish, which is not the same magnitude as actually neat. I'm down to adding maybe one art piece a year now, as my walls are running out of space (and my counters did years ago.) If it gets too cluttery, it loses the Zen and I can't concentrate on my work, whether poetry or jewelry.
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#81364 - 08/03/06 03:57 AM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Jeannine]
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member
Registered: 07/06/06
Posts: 138
Loc: Oakland County, Michigan
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I love your website. Most of my life I was a professional organizer and administrative assistant. Working with seniors to help downsize their home has been rewarding. Now I am taking care of myself and walking in baby steps to explore my future. Opening up and sharing is new to me.
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#81366 - 08/04/06 11:31 AM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: meredithbead]
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Member
Registered: 07/11/04
Posts: 2132
Loc: MA
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We're in a condo, but my situation is a little different. My husband bought it after his divorce. Now that we are married, we both own it. I had a two family house and sold it. We kept the condo and live here. If we had it to do over, we would not buy a condo again. I say this only because of all the rules and living with so many peopel. It's been hard to get used to. But, the conveniences are great: no shoveling, no mowing, no dragging out barrels or bags, no raking. We are on the first floor and do have a very large patio, which is unheard of in most condos. It's a plus. We are on a marina and have a beautiful view of Boston, which is what we really love about it. My husband has tons of flowers on the patio. The thing I need and don't have is enough closet space, but I probably could never have enough of that. I'm not a good downsizer at all.
Louisa
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#81369 - 08/05/06 09:31 AM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Louisa]
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Member
Registered: 06/08/06
Posts: 111
Loc: Brisbane Australia
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A condo (we would call it an apartment) high up in the city is my dream for when it is just the two of us again. A big patio (we would call it a balcony in a highrise) would be ideal and I would also fill it with flowers. I would spend my days strolling the botanic gardens, walking along the river, sipping coffee and watching the people go by...and of course minding grandchildren whenever possible. Actually in my retirement I might even mind other peoples children to help me stay vibrant and in touch with the real truth of life!!!
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#81370 - 08/05/06 01:00 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: DebShines]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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We're on the top floor of a highrise. What I find funny is how the building is it's own little community...like Peyton Place. There is a couple on the 9th floor that complain about EVERYTHING. "A dog peed on a rock out back." That kind of stuff and they talk terrible to the property manager, like they sign her paycheck. I'm always fascinated to hear what their latest complaint is because it's become funny more than anything. Sad, that people are that miserable but funny to hear how they've looked for things that might be wrong. My hub says it's people like them that keep buildings like this cleaner but, the poor property manager. She's so sweet and just bites her tongue.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81376 - 08/08/06 01:49 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Louisa]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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You're right, JJ. LOL!
Louisa, we don't have balconies or patios and if we did, I wouldn't go out on it. I don't like high places. One entire wall is all glass, which offers a beautiful view. It's great when we have a thunder storm with lightening streaking across the sky.
A condo newsletter? I don't think so! The couple on the 9th floor have even told the property manager how to arrange the furniture in her office and if she doesn't want to do it, they will do it themselves! It's that bad. Plus, there is a wall ashtray in the covered parking and the female half of this couple claimed it made her car smell like cigarettes and demanded they take it down. They did and it had never been used. Just looking for things, you know? I think it's funny but then, I'm not the property manager either.
All pet owners now have to use the freight elevator when going downstairs. I don't mind except...it was a demand made by this couple. Who is running this place anyway? I can understand allergies, etc. but this is getting out of control.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81379 - 08/09/06 01:05 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: chatty lady]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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I could title my newsletter, "The 9th Floor Couple and their latest complaints." It could fill pages! Now, they don't like the way the sofas in the lobby are arranged. Said it looks tacky. It's gotten funny it's so extreme. I got trapped on the elevator with them one day and I swear they've been weaned on lemon juice. I made them talk to me! It hurt them, you could tell. I was getting my mail and followed them down the hallway and they were saying, "Do you smell that?" I sniffed, trying to smell something but couldn't. Maybe they were talking about me! LOL!
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81381 - 08/09/06 08:59 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Edelweiss]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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I pulled out my Southern Personality that I learned while living in Nashville. "Hey y'all. How ya doing? I haven't met you yet, yada." They were shoved up against the elevator as far away from me as they could get.LOL! I had my little Italian Greyhound with me on a leash and she just sat in the corner, minding her own business. Shortly after that, the new rule...dogs and their owners have to take the freight elevator. Gee, I wonder who complained? We don't mind tho. There are more smells in that elevator for her to check out.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81384 - 08/10/06 01:17 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Edelweiss]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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Oh, JJ. You are so funny.
Yes, my dog is tiny and she's so friendly and everyone in the building loves her...except cleavage and butthead. LOL!
I've been reading The Power of Intention and when I'm finished, I think I'll put it at this couple's door. Maybe if they read it, they will understand Universal Love and how it heals our world. They must be so miserable. The good news is they'll be leaving for AZ for the Winter. They can drive the people in that state crazy for a while.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81386 - 08/11/06 01:16 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: jawjaw]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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And...how should we decorate it? I'm sure you'll have some suggestions!
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81390 - 08/11/06 10:09 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: chatty lady]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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I finally found women as bad as me. I thought about dumping a pile of cigarette butts by her car door so she'd really have something to complain about but I'm the type of person who always gets caught! I wouldn't make a good criminal.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81392 - 08/13/06 01:01 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: meredithbead]
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Perhaps the next time ya'll should encounter these individuals, give them the gift of gab? For isntance, begin complaining to them, i.e., stubbed my toe getting out of bed and how long u spent at the hospital awaiting x-rays b/c you thought it was broken (and describe the doctor, nurses, and everyone you encountered to include the coffee, not to mention the pain!), how long it took to change car oil, bad customer service, etc., and draw it out, I mean make your story really long and how the martyr you've become b/c of such ordeals! You could even invite them for cocktails and bore them to death!
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#81393 - 08/13/06 02:13 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: ]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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Which one of you gals is going to come get me out of jail after I did all of this? Mustang, invite them to my flat? Nah, I'm not that good of an actor. I've heard that both of them are retired and do some volunteer work so I'm going to blame their complaints on good old fashion boredom. Like...go back to work or something and give the rest of us a break.
I had planned on the next time I saw them in the elevator, to pull back Diz and say, "Don't go near them, they'll complain about you!" but we now have to ride down in the freight elevator so that's not an option.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81394 - 08/14/06 07:29 AM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Dianne]
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Member
Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
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#81395 - 08/14/06 04:34 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Edelweiss]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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I'm telling you, I'm starting to think we live in the building of the uninformed, ignorant people of MN!
One of our residents, who is a lesbian, collapsed in the hallway and the ambulance had to be called. A resident from the 5th floor told the paramedics that they needed to wear masks because the woman was gay! I was just flabbergasted by that. In this day and age and with all the information out there, people remain trapped in ignorance and prejudice.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81396 - 08/14/06 08:08 PM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Dianne]
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Member
Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
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Hope your taking notes, Dianne...your apartment building is good material for the next best seller. Can't believe it; masks? ..that is so pathetic.
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#81398 - 08/15/06 09:52 PM
Re: Downsizing...
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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I think it would make a better sitcom!
Ninth floor couple are complaining again. This time, it's the notes from the homeowners meeting. Said it was poorly written. What's it supposed to be, The Great American Novel?
_________________________
If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#81399 - 08/16/06 01:43 AM
Re: Downsizing...
[Re: Dianne]
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Member
Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
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Next meeting, suggest they write it. Then complain about it.
smile
_________________________
Original plays and musicals for groups and events. [url=http://historytheater.org/index.html]
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#81400 - 08/16/06 01:57 AM
Re: Downsizing...
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Sitcom called "Neighbors?"
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