Di, yes I've been sad for not having my own child, for children can be your best friend, love and God's living proof, they can be a great joy and bring sadness. I miss that I'll never share that with a human being that I brought into this world. I miss not being able to associate with other mothers who seem to have a common connection. Yet, at the same time I'm glad for my freedom and have often worried if I'd be a good parent, knowing my child rearing - would I better or worse? An oxymoron, if you will.

Anne
what we "hear" as children can be stored away and taken out for airing all through our lives.To issustrate this..I had an Aunt who bought special soap.Remember this was just post war.The soap Bomol was my Grandmothers favourite when she was a young woman.So aunt made a comment when I was staying that since I was there on holiday her soap was being used up quickly.I remember thinking "Wow" I have been naughty.
Fast forward until I had my own home..I stored soap like it was going out of fashion.I realise now I was reacting to a chance remark.
Perhaps your Father was deeply concerned about your health and could only express this the way he did.
Mountain ash

Well, count me in, I am saddened about not having children. I am sickened by the psychological reasons: fearing I would raise as I had been raised. Mustang, that was a very honest and forthright post of yours. I appreciate that we can share innermost thoughts here.

As odd as it sounds, I'm kinda glad to see so many here really "open up" about their lost dream of children.

I remember many, many years ago...as a teen, I did not want to have any. If I recall, that was during the new "women's rights" movement AND before I grew up and got married.

Sadly, we are all programmed with "first comes love, then comes marriage"....my "then comes Diane with the baby carriage" never happened.

Because of that mis-conception about life, I do NOT give out baby dolls to little girls as gifts. To me, it is terrible to allow a little girl to get a preconceived idea that she WILL be a mommy. It still hurts me today that I did not know that some women may never give birth. I blame it on no education and society "assuming" that all women have children.

High school health class teacher never once said "Now girls, some of you could possibly have an imperfect body and experience childlessness". I was never warned......NEVER!

Therefore, I am making an effort to give, as gifts, a few books written by a friend. There are two out now, of a trilogy. They are about a childless couple at Christmas time. I want kids to know that there ARE, in fact, couples who are saddened about not having children. That we DO exist.

I am sorry for the mothers here who have lost their children via death.

THis thread started a few months.

But honest, after reading all this , I still feel no maternal stirrings. ...even after 1 of my sisters (38 yrs.) announced her lst pregnancy a few days ago. And even after seeing 5 nieces and nephews growing in past few days, after not seeing them for past 12 months.

I am happy for everyone else. And I have no regrets for myself.

I probably sound awful, but a mother who has had a child that died is very different from a woman who never gave birth. The memory of birth, holding the baby.. must be acutely bittersweet/sad.

My greater sympathy is for the women who no longer have their loved child(ren) alive.

Life is for living...and for those of us who are childless, we do have an incredible amount of energy to help those who have children...and give back to the wider community.