Thank you for saying what you did, Hannelore!
You have no idea how my peers (and myself) are dismissed with "HOw can YOU understand...you've never had kids'!
Yes, we do hear that often! It's horrible.
I wonder if your statement just comes with maturity,'cause young mothers think they DO know it all! LIke they've "arrived" since they have given birth. And yes, we CNBC'er do feel they've lost brain cells or the sense to communicate with their 'old friends' who have not given birth. Can't ya'll hold an adult conversation without talking about kids???
IT's a very hard road for us. We feel like 'freaks of nature', getting the ol' "one eye-lid up" look...like we hated kids and we did not want them!
My goal is to educate that not ALL women have the pleasure of conceiving, feeling a baby (miracle) move within her, give birth and share that time with their loving husband.
It's a dream that never goes away since the time we were all raised/programmed with 'First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ______with the baby carriage"!
As I was growing up, I never even was aware that there just may be a woman in the world who was CNBC. Not a CLUE,until it happened to me at age 36!
We want others to NOT ASK personal questions; in our minds (and yes, they are very different and can be bitter), when one asks IF a woman has children, it gets "into our bedroom scene" and is very, very personal and can be hurtful. If someone wants to share about their blessings, great. But, please don't ask everyone you meet! It could be one of us sensitive ones. We just HATE that question anymore.
It is not something we can 'get over'. For me, I'll forever be saddened by the fact that I was not able to experience 'it all'. Yes, I do have a full life, but i've had to MAKE it full FOR MYSELF ONLY.
Sharing stories of a daughter's first boyfriend, prom, prom dress, engagement, shower, wedding, grandchild will never be in my life. I live all of this in my dreams..but it will never be a reality.
Try imagining not talking about your children/grandchildren AT ALL for two weeks straight. That is how our lives are. Yes, we are busy...but we don't LIKE it.
And churches can be the worse place to be!. Some preachers have been known to say "you've never understood the true meaning of 'agape love' unless you've had children'. Or "God's highest calling is motherhood or fatherhood'. We do not attend church on Mother's or Father's Day, needless to say. We feel like strangers in a church setting as well. It's ALL about kids!! In fact, we'd love to start a church for oNLY those couples who were not blessed. Even single CNBC'ers have another set of issues,poor things.
There are people out there,men and women, who decided to "change their minds' after they marry. Prior to marriage, they say "oh yes, i want to have children with you', when all they are doing is pacifying us. THEN, after the ring is on, they say 'Well, i don't want any (more, if they are already parents thru previous marriages). Talk about a sting!!
Sorry, I need to get this stuff out to folks other than my peers since the "child-filled world" is what the Lord has placed on my heart to educate".
My words are my inner thoughts. They are not meant to offend, but educate others about what we honestly think. That is why a 'place' of refuge is so needed so we can vent with people who feel the same.