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#94665 - 04/18/07 12:42 PM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: DJ]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
I heard that about the sensation part too. Part of me thinks this is all so silly. I could send the money I'd spend to Africa or to a charity where I live. It is all so superficial. But then.....
I think I'm starting to think about the surgery because my boyfriend likes large breasts, or at least I think he does.
He commented a while back on my friends boobs and said what happened to her she sure has grown in that department. We all hadn't seen each other since high school and she was really skinny back then and had no boobs. His comments then upset me and made me feel less in that department. When we dated in high school I had less than I do now and he didn't seem to mind then. We have recently (two years ago) reconnected. Funnily enough after I posted this yesterday he called. I was talking about someone we both know and she just had botox. Then we started talking about other types of surgery that people have. He said maybe we should get you some plastic bags to make your boobs bigger. I just said hmmmm and then he said " Can you imagine how they would feel, that seems so gross" I don't know whether he really meant that because I didn't say anything, or if he really does think they are gross.
Kate

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#94666 - 04/18/07 01:07 PM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: katebcca]
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
My sister lost sensation after her lift so it's true.
_________________________
If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice.
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#94667 - 04/18/07 02:46 PM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: Dianne]
DJ Offline
Member

Registered: 11/22/02
Posts: 1148
Loc: Maryland
katebcca -- I get angry when I hear that guys talk like this to their women. He wouldn't like it if you compared his penis with those of other men. And maybe he 's feeling insecurie in that department? I'd dump a man who talked to me that way because it's so disrepectful and indicates someone very immature who doesn't know the first thing about how to relate to a woman as a human being.
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#94668 - 04/18/07 03:16 PM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: DJ]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
I understand your point of view. He is a kidder and I have some insecurities around my size. I'd feel the same way as you if I read what I wrote. In the two years that we have been together there have only been maybe three comments, the first one about my friend which I posted about. He was commenting on how big she was as she was so skinny in high school. He is kind of a jock and a gym rat. He talks about shape and sizes a fair bit as he trains people. He knew I didn't like that comment though and never brought it up again. I tend to bring the subject up due to my insecurities. If he talked about it all the time or stared at other womens bodies or talked about them I would dump him, but he doesn't.
We've been on this plastic surgery discussion a few times now because some of my friends are having things done and I bring it up in conversation.
When I posted before the advice was, he loves you, if he wanted to be with a larger chested women he would not be dating you. I think sometimes he just says things without thinking. Not trying to make excuses for him.
In other areas he is kind, considerate, giving, generous and is there for me in so many ways so I don't want to dump him.
Because of my insecurties I take things the wrong way sometimes, or too seriously so I was wondering if he was serious about breast implants being gross or just trying to find out what I thought about them.
I read an article in Oprah where she interviewed men on the subject and most of them said they didn't like them and preferred the real thing.
Kate

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#94669 - 04/18/07 10:22 PM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: katebcca]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I guess my question is, why does it seem that people think in extremes? Why can't a woman be a tomboy/siren, a vamp one day with makeup and jewelry and cleavage and high heels and flirting away the next? Why can't we get down and dirty and talk like a drunk sailor and be drunk like a sailor if we want to? Why can't we mud wrestle and roller blade and then wear a formal to a Mardi Gras ball?

We don't have to be divided into two camps, the "au natuarale's" and the "Marilyn Monroe's". We can all dredge up men who prefer our particular tastes to someone elses...after all most men are goober heads anyway.

I certainly have my own preferences where men are concerned..I couldn't be with a man with a small penis. Just couldn't, I don't care how smart and sophisticated he is or how much in touch he is with his feminine side or whatever. Its not impossible to find a great man with a great penis and a pocket full of money.
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#94670 - 04/18/07 11:35 PM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: NewLeaf]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
Women can be whatever they want, that's the great thing about being a woman. We can dress in so many ways depending on the occasion.

So your saying you can't be with a man with a small penis? That's your personal choice. I guess some guys can't be with women with small breasts either unless they get plastic surgery. That's kind of my point. I think my boyfriend adores me, he acts that way at least. Because he has made a few teasing comments about my breast size, I detect that he would prefer I had larger breasts but he is over looking that. He's never come right out and said anything, just teases. I can't figure it out, or decide whether I'm over reacting about it. On one hand it may be just teasing as he knows I can't really do anything about it (other than surgery) It's weird though as I'm over weight and he is very supportive around that. He keeps saying your fine, just keep exercising and eating right, it's not the size that counts, you just want to be healthy. I'm confused and am starting to question myself so.....
I will get to the point where I will come right out and ask him as it's starting to bug me.
Kate
(I think I've gone off the topic "cleavage" so may post in another area)

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#94671 - 04/18/07 11:43 PM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: katebcca]
Jane_Carroll Offline
member

Registered: 07/06/06
Posts: 1521
Loc: Alabama
Kate,

I think talking with him directly is absolutely the best thing to do...he sounds like he really cares about you...and I bet he'll be supportive of your insecurities as well...good luck...
_________________________
Jane Carroll

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#94672 - 04/19/07 12:04 AM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: Jane_Carroll]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3650
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Well, kate lost in abit in all this, is remembering what your partner finds still sexy about you now..

Instead of focusing small boobs (me), I just prefer to work at still being able to see my feet over my stomache. Figure it's a better focus on my health instead.
_________________________
http://cyclewriteblog.wordpress.com/ (How cycling leads to other types of adventures, thoughts)
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http://thirdwavecyclingblog.wordpress.com/

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#94673 - 04/19/07 08:13 AM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: orchid]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Sounds like he loves you, Kate. Maybe HE is the one who is insecure. I've hung out at the gym a lot myself and come to the conclusion, myself included, that most of the people who are "gym rats" as someone else put it, are basically insecure people.

They are never satisfied with their bodies and feel the need to improve and are very critical of other people's bodies. They need the adrenaline rush or the seretonin rush they get from the workout and if they don't get to work out, they are cranky all day and feel like they've missed an integral part of their day.

Where I would be careful and keep my antenna's up is if he starts to put you down to make himself feel better or starts to compare you to other women.

Sounds like you're just right. I wouldn't feel anything but good about myself and just watch his feet. His lips are moving but what are his feet doing? Does he continue to be supportive and loving and caring? I wouldn't worry too much about it. Whatever happens, happens.
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#94674 - 04/19/07 12:36 PM Re: Cleavage after 50 [Re: NewLeaf]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
Thanks, I think I've high-jacked this post from showing off cleavage (which I don't have) to small boobs :-)
He does not put me down ever, and does not compare me to other women. He's very supportive in my getting fit for health purposes. But, he is a guy and a jock at that and knows every muscle name, bone etc. He's a former professional football player and has been working out since he was a teenager. I'm not sure if the insecurity is mine or his. I think my antenna goes up when he mentions my chest.

He buys me lingerie and at Christmas bought me a size to big in that area. He teased me and said, oh, your only a 'B' I thought you were a 'C', he knows my size. (the top just said large, no cup size) I have heard women complain that their significant others buy them lingerie to small (maybe wishful thinking) so I guess it may be the same thing. As I said, he has made mention of my size in a teasing way a few times in the two years that we have been going out. I think it's me that makes a big deal of it. I wish he would not say anything though. Maybe I send off signals to him that I'm insecure about it, who knows.

You are right about the insecurity in gym rats. He is a perfectionist, his muscle tone is slipping (he's 49) and he is used to being buff.(muscular) He has gained some weight as well and is not happy about that. Although he works out, he also eats out alot and likes rich food. I tease him about that so maybe he's just giving it back.

Communication is the key to any good relationship and we both know that. So, if it continues to bug me or comes up again I will talk to him about it.

Now, back to showing off cleavage, if you've got it flaunt it :-)
Kate

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