Lion,
I hear you. And my Spirit rejoices and resonates with joy for that truth. If I could just figure out how to bring that rejoicing and spiritual resonating into the planning and festivities when I'm surrounded by unrealistic (and sometimes aggressively so) expectations (based on past tradition, which you know are hard for some people to let go of) and lack of spiritual tolerance or even respect. I can't ban these people from the celebration (that would make it easier, wouldn't it!) because they're hubby's family. And each year I do "take back" more of that spiritual focus and make it a vital part of our celebration. So we're slowly getting there. I need more backbone against these people, but in ways that build bridges and mend fences rather than create tension and "backdraft", if you know what I mean.

I do believe in living the Christmas spirit all year round and ironically find it easier to do so any other time than these weeks before Dec 25th! We're in the process of melting down all of that commercial expectation and angst and working toward making Christmas the simple, joyful spiritual celebration we want it to be - but it's slow going when you're dealing with step-in-laws and are already exhausted before you even begin.

Eagle Heart - I decided to delete my post - It sounded to "preachie" or "brow beating" and it wasn't meant to be that at all

I just tend to come on strong sometimes - sorry

I hear you about inlaws but sometimes you just have to set some boundaries - if the inlaws don't like it - oh well - as long as you and hubby are on the same page about your traditions - that's all that really matters

This year is all about your brother - next year will take care of itself

Lynnie and Hannelore, I agree, yet its simply the family dynamics. Like Lion, I believe the season is about Christ.

Eagleheart, I say go for having two vacations! Did you say Paris?

Lynnie, thank your for sharing about your grandmother, very heartwarming!

Lion, I didn't hear your post as being preachy. You spoke truth and not at all in a "brow-beating" manner, at least to my ears. You've lived through a lot of agony, and I can't imagine how difficult Christmas will be for you this year, and yet I hear your joy and your hope in the truth that this IS all about the birth of our Lord. And that in itself is Christmas. Everything else is what we create it to be, either through our choices or our inability to make those choices.

There's a quantum leap between the "knowing" and the "doing". It ought to be simple. I do care too much about things that aren't my responsibility to care so much about. My focus is clear now. This Christmas is really all about my brother. Everybody and everything else will look after itself. My responsibility is to my brother. And hubby is 100% on board with that. Anyone who's not happy with that will just have to be unhappy. I can't be responsible for their happiness anymore.

Everyone here (including you Lion) have helped me get to this point. And it's making it much easier to be able to relax against that focus and let everything/everyone else go. Even our 5-year-old granddaughter seems to be okay - especially since we're now negotiating a special "2nd Christmas" for her at our house on New Year's Day in lieu of the 25th.

I have felt badly about whining about hubby asking his daughter along if we go away next Christmas. I wouldn't really mind, I love her and we are her family, and she would have nowhere else to go for Christmas. So I don't think I COULD go without her anyway...I was tired when I whined, but after thinking about it, I don't think it would be a very merry Christmas without her.

And yes, he did say "Paris in April". I'll believe it when I'm actually standing in front of the Eiffel tower. But it sure sounds nice...

Eagle, your heart must be as big as Texas.

Looking forward to some time alone with your lover/husband is only natural and you deserve a lot of special times with all you do for your brother and others. I'm sure your husband just wasn't thinking when he committed to his daughter before checking with you. Maybe she will find someone more her age to spend time with before next Christmas. Either way, Christmas is a time of love and because you are such an example of God's love, I'm sure He will grant you a lot of wonderful holidays.
smile

Oh Smile, thank you. I'm so glad to "hear" your voice...I've missed you...

I've been thinking about everyone a lot in the past couple of days. How's everyone doing with less than 3 weeks to go? KLM, how are you feeling these days? I know as Christmas gets closer, the "missing" gets deeper, especially as I take out Mom's old decorations and remember the Christmases gone by. Oh how I miss her. How about you?

TVC, how are you doing...did you end up going with your "light and love" theme? I set up a few decorations last night, and I think that's all I'm going to put out this year. A few Santa's for hubby and the grandchildren to enjoy (I've accumulated quite a collection of different Santa figurines and candles).

It's tough going. I'm doing much better because of this thread.

Continuing to keep you all in my heartprayers...