Mrs. Madness, there has been a lot of wisdom shared here already, but here's my thoughts.

Instead of looking for what your husband isn't doing, look for what he is doing and acknowledge that to him. Focus on the good -- just like you do with kids.

Has his behavior changed? Or has your view of his behavior changed? He might be thinking, this is how we have always lived -- what's the ruckus all about? My perception (which might be totally off the wall) is that culturally, many Russian men that I know wouldn't be caught dead doing "women's work." So, it might take some negotiating (or flat-out refusal) on your part to get him to take on chores. So, in the dinner instance, have the conversation and see what he is willing to do and then hold him to it. If he agrees to make dinner on Sunday and then doesn't, take yourself out to eat. Don't grumble and make dinner. It will take a while. You are asking him to change -- and we all resist change for the most part! LOL!