Emyjay

I accidentally bumped into some old music last week, music that I hadn't heard in 30 years and had totally forgotten about. Normally I dislike nostalgia but it unexpectedly sent me back to when I was young, early 20's, when I had dreams and the future was so big and everything was possible. I have this image of being the same self all my life just ever a little older and older but basically the same.

But when I thought back to the kind of person I was when that music came out it shook me. I am not the same person. Everything is not possible anymore. Things that have gone awry cannot be fixed. It's too late to fix those things and too much life has gone by and so much of that early optimism is gone too. Too many heartaches have come and gone and that changes you forever.

It was this song, "The Circle Game" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep7uySNpUyw

"We can't return, but can only look behind from where we came,
And go round and round in the cirle game."

Joni Mitchell was 21 when she wrote that.