Yes, heartaches, sorrows and losses DO change you. I do a lot of thinking along these lines these days and I expect that won't stop as I age. I relect constantly....in fact, sometimes I think I "deep think" a little too often. I marvel at how naive I was at 20-something. Old age is a lifetime away and I hoped for all the best. Life hasn't given me anything near what I had hoped for. But I tend to see that my growth today and who I am reflects some of the things that have scarred me. If I indulge in self pity I hurdle down fast so I've tried to keep clear of that. Still, I suspect we all feel sad for what wasn't and what is at some moments. My hubby and I refer to them as "triggers." You're going about life as usual and then hear a song, or see something and you're transported back. Sometimes that's pleasant and a lot of times it isn't. A counselor told me (after my divorce) that when those troubling, painful thoughts arise to let them wash over me but continue to flow away. Don't let them penetrate too deep. I realize that I have strength today....that I sincerely wonder if it would be here if I had not walked the road I had to. There's a lot of wisdom in living for today because it's all we have. Hang in there, friends...we all have a little or a lot of this going on as time goes by.