Mrs madness..what you describe about trying to live in a new country brings back all the memories of coming to Sweden at the age of 21..newly married and trying to make it all work..as you describe. Taking a walk in a new place..where you are living..the FEEL of the streets and the air is different..even if you don´t meet a soul on your walk..the FEEL is different and it can bring on panic..the panic of not beeing able to run..because this is your new home.. you are not on a short holiday. I have been lucky and staid in Sweden..next year..in December, I will have lived here for 40yrs. When I came to Sweden at the end of l968, it was still a very closed country..made up only of Swedes. Everyone thought like the local newspaper. It was amazing. You must remember that I left the US in 1968..alot was going on over there. ALOT. It was like coming to nighttime. YES, alot has happened here since then. I have also, of course, developed and learned alot along the way. But oooo I remember my beginnings here. I wish you luck along the way..if this what you want? Is it? You must be pretty "adult" yourself by now..do you ask yourself along the way..what do I want??? Of course you may want to stay with your hubby and make this a priority..this is so important and worthwhile. But..where are YOU in all of this??? Can you make YOU important too???

Good Luck! You´re one strong lady!!! I am fascinated by the Chinese culture and history..your family..where are they now that you are moving???? Lots of LOVE!!!!!!