Yesterday we threw a large barbeque party for family. Everything was going great; My 85-year-old mother was there as well. Later in the afternoon I noticed she looked terribly pale and asked her if she would like to lie down for a while. I told my mother to lie down on my side of the bed, since all other extra rooms were being used. She laid down on top of the bedspread and slept for an hour.

Well, as soon as my husband got gist of this, he sulked for the rest of the party. When everyone left, I saw that he had stripped his side of the bed down, and threw the bed covers in another room. When I asked what gives…he said he will not lie in a bed that my mother lay in! She didn't lie IN the bed; she lay on top of it! My mother is a very fine lady, who is meticulously groomed. There is absolutely no reason for him to have reacted this way.

I'm so sick of this never-ending tyranny. Once again my husband has ruined my day because of his egotistical ways. One of my DIl's stayed longer to help me clean up, and asked what is wrong with her Father in Law. That's when I broke down and cried.

Bravo bravo, Hubby dear,…you succeeded again. Maybe this whole scene sounds trite, but this has been going on for the last 5 years. The problem is that this attitude of his leads to further bickerings about almost everything. I can't take it anymore. What should I do? What would you do?

I know many will say the husband has to be the first priority in my life. I just want to say that I have always treated him as such! He just doesn't like my mother, and can't jump over his shadow to accept her for my sake. It doesn't matter if she comes by once a week or once a month, it's always one visit too much.

Is this love? I feel tryanized controlled and just plain old down in the dumps. No, this can't be love.

I'm seriously thinking about leaving him, and have told him this in the past, but it doesn't change his behaviour. I know I can't force him to like my mother, but why can't he, just for my sake, be civil to her? I can't stand him because of this.