Counselling never worked for us. Actually one counsellor told us to separate. My ex always found something wrong with the counsellor or he would act like everything was perfect so that didn't help at all.

For me, counselling is just one step before divorce. When it gets to the point where counselling is necessary, in my opinion it's already too late. The damage has already been done and it's far to hard to go back and fix it. I know that people do but for me it didn't work.

Your husband had a wake up call and will treat you better for a while, but then he will fall into old patterns again. He wants to change to keep you around and that is not the right reason so he won't be able to keep it up for long. He may even resent having to behave this way as it's work. If change is needed, he would have to be the one to want to change for his own reasons, not for you, or to keep you happy. Again, just my opinion from my experience.

It does take two though and although I left my ex because I was unhappy, I had a part in the breakdown of our marriage and realized that many years later when I was in therapy. The marriage wouldn't have lasted anyway because he was a cheater and an alcoholic and needed to change for his own sake not mine. I also had my issues and we were just not compatible. We get along ok now for the kids sake.

Only time will tell. I'm a big advocate for staying together if it works. I don't like to see marriages break up especially for the children's sake, whether they are grown up or not. But there comes a time when you have to be honest about what you want and not put your needs on the back burner all the time.

If your husband is serious about changing that's great, but it won't be easy for him. I hope things work out. They always work out in some way but not always in the way we hope or expect they will.
Kate