Hannelore, I'm new too, hope you don't mind me coming late to this?

A few years ago I lost my dad, then not long after that, my mother, and my brother went to live in South Africa and has no contact with me.

This coincided with a lot of people being laid off work at my husband's place. He was unaffected workwise but many friends got the sack (lost their jobs).

The family losses took their toll on me, and the ructions at work took their toll on my husband and I went into the internet too much (for people to talk to I guess, since he went quiet and Martian on me).

He went cold on me, spent a whole summer sleeping head down in the bed (ie I slept with his his feet next to my face :rolleyes:)

I eventually confronted him and he was weird said everything was ok, but I pushed it and he went loopy at me and started ranting and talking divorce and I was :O and :'(

Anyway to cut a long story short it's been a bit of a ride, but we made it through the other end.

A crisis can be a make or break deal I think, and can give the required shove to someone who is undecided or unable to deal with stuff going on in their own lives.

Personally I think my husband was depressed/going through a mid-life crisis thing but being a man wouldn't/couldn't face that. Unhappily, it coincided with a depression on my part after the loss of a beloved father (who died on the Friday following 9/11, which meant an unplanned yet unavoidable air trip two days after the Twin Towers etc but at least I got to see him before he died).

What I am trying to say is that nothing is irretrievable, but it takes two, and it takes time and effort.

I wish you all the best x