Okay everyone, I'm not allowed to talk to Hubby about this, but I sure can tell all of you.

I really liked the doctor, and I am drumming up all my positive feelings, hoping he can help us. He confirmed that we can't change my Hubby, but what I can change is my own attitude.

He asked me several times why I let it get to me like I do. He said whenever there are conflicts; I should physically leave the room or whatever. My first priority is protecting myself and that I shouldn't allow myself to get sucked into his "control" thing. If I'm not there for him to verbally lash out, or to show his cold shoulder then his actions disappear in thin air.

He also said I should feel like I am free…whether I am in a marriage or not. I am a free person and can decide for myself how much time I spend with my mother. I have to learn how to stand up to my decisions and not be influenced by Hubby's attitude.

If I stop allowing myself to be in the victim role, then in the long run Hubby may change. We'll see, and if not then I can always decide what I want to do then.

Gee, I feel like someone just pushed my shoulders back and lifted my chin. I feel taller.

Onward Soldiers !!!!