Newleaf, I find it interesting that when your men were "stolen" by a woman, you blamed the woman, and said it was the WOMEN you couldn't trust. Seems to me, that you shouldn't have trusted the men either, but you blamed the women because you chose an untrustworthy man.

Men aren't possessions to be stolen any more than we're possessions to be controlled. "Stealing" an unfaithful man is like stealing a sack of rotten potatoes -- both parties pretty much get what they deserve.

So you lost -- what? Several sacks of rotten potatoes?? And you're grieving because???...

Pardon my usual bluntness, but anyone can f---. Cockroaches can f---. You need to start looking for a man who knows how to love.

All relationships work if -- and only if -- two people have an equal stake in it working.
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On to the next topic -- I'm really glad that you're working on your house and your artistic projects. It's a perfect time in life to be giving attention to creative endeavors which will nourish you for years to come.