I'm feeling frightened and a bit insecure today. My stbex told me last night he hoped I choked to death. I was having a coughing spell...allergies.

I sometimes had to talk to him about issues that I'm trying to resolve to get free...auto insurance etc.

For some reason, that really hurt. I can't tell him to discuss whatever issue he has with my lawyer because I don't have one.

Its scary to me to know, to really know that 3 1/2 years of a crazy/bizarre relationship is over. I don't think I love him anymore. He also called my daughter a fing piece of s&^%. Why would I let him or anyone else call my children and grandchildren names like that?

He doesn't love them. Bottom line. And if he doesn't love them, he doesn't love me because they are a part of my heart and soul.

I've never called his daughters pieces of s&*(...at least not to his face. His oldest just found out she is pregnant by a 20 yr. old black guy and she's 27 and already has two illegitimate children and lives with her mother.

His youngest daughter is sleeping with an Hispanic, married porter with 4 children who is 20 yrs. older than her. My stbex even let THAT piece sleep with his daughter in HIS house.

Ok, I think I just convinced myself to settle down and think with my mind instead of reacting with my heart. This horrible relationship was doomed from the start.