Grief is as much a part of living as joy. When my Daddy died, I went into some sort of frozen state. I did not cry immensely like my sisters and Mom. I was frozen in time. I knew once I let go and grieved, I was admitting he was truly gone and in my brain, I felt I would somehow loose the connection. Does that make sense?

However, during this time, it was extremely painful to be around other members of my family, especially Mom. I could hardly walk through her house because of the pictures surrounding me of Daddy. He was my best friend.

One day I was visiting Mom, about a month or so after his death. She casually mentioned something about him, and then said, "Oh, I meant to tell you, your sister Amy sent you this picture for you to keep." She walked over to me and handed me the picture. I took one look and I crumbled. I cried, and cried, and cried. Mother became worried because I could not stop. I don't know how long this went on...but probably about 20 or so minutes. Deep, wailing...deep suffering I had bottled up, and longing to see my Daddy, just one more time.

I finally stopped and when I did, Mom said she just didn't realize how much I held inside. She knew I was prone to do this, but she explained how healing it can be to own your grief and just it it be what it is. Work through it, show it, live it, whatever it takes because only then can you honor the life of those that have left.

I felt so much better afterwards and understood what she was telling me and in such a loving way.

You are so normal, friend of mine. Please honor that grief and the life of your sweet Dad. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to miss him, by all means, shout it to the Universe. Whatever it takes to help you work through this.

I STILL have my moments. But I love the fact that I finally realized he is here with me, and Mom, and my sisters. They never leave. Not really. Beautiful, isn't it? Just knowing this.