From Lady Jane,
"Oh, I really don't want to hijack this thread...but...that, Dianne & dancer is my concern...the hiding. They...well HE says "all guys do it" but goes out of his way to hide it. I don't know why because he also knows how computer savvy I am. He got sooo angry when I called him on it...again...that he flipped over the monitor and claimed I attacked him verbally. Actually I was trying to discuss it like an adult. He says he'll put a computer in his garage just for "it." How does an otherwise sweet, sensitive man go crazy like this? I haven't brought it up for awhile because it means a night of fighting and there's no fight left with me. I want to talk like an adult or not say anything at all. I've seen some of this stuff and all he ever views is bondage...sick, violent, abusive things done to women. It's so awful and it makes me feel numb inside. Not sure what to do."

Who is this, Lady Jane? Is this your man? If so, I want to say first how sorry I am that you have to deal with this.

I see P as an addiction for many men. To say they cannot live without it and will change their lives to have it in their lives is to me, an addiction.

I don't know why men do this but I know it is hurtful to women and their self esteem! I know a lot of p is violent towards women.

Have you seen what kind of p he looks at, Lady? ( Opps, I see it is bondage.) My feeling about a man looking at bondagae is that he has power issues with women! It is my first feeling, anyway! To want to see us tied up and abused is like a need to have power over women. Maybe he feels powerless? However, there is violence in that as well. It would seem it might have something to do with his own sexuality, MAYBE. All this is a "maybe."


Did he move to the garage or are you living with it? How often does he look at it?

dancer