LJ, I happened to think you are one strong and wonderful person. Be kind to yourself! That old saying, "walk a mile in my shoes" can apply here. Just because we've never experienced some of the feelings you have, like being lost after your marriage, wanting to know what to do, what to feel, do I experience THIS? Do I let go of THIS? etc., this doesn't make them any less real for you.

We don't have to experience them to know they're yours and that you lived them, experienced them, and now are questioning them. It sounds like to me you are moving on and with good feelings and hope.

Girl, taking the time out to find Jane and who Jane really is, to me...is a giant step. How brave you are to say, "I want to know Jane." You rock!