My dear ladyjane,

It's all been said, but somethings bare repeating.

You went through a time in your life when what you did was different from anything that you had done before. Your life dramatically changed, quickly, and you did not have the proper resources to handle that change. You reacted. Please, please forgive yourself and move on. Love yourself for all the beauty you are in this world.

Each of us makes up our own mind of what we will accept from the other people in my life. You are still trying to figure out what is acceptable in this current marriage. Be gentle with yourself. It's not for anyone but you to judge what is okay and what is not okay. You will figure it out.

Try to get some perspective on your situation. If you can get away for even a day, just to let it go for a while, perhaps it will become clearer.

It also sounds like he has some issues that he needs to deal with. When someone tells you that you might be better off alone, they are trying to send a message. He may not even know what he wants for himself, for you and the two of you together.

My heart is with you. This is all so difficult. I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this stress.